YAY Daniel!!!!

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Great news Daniel!

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My parents divorced when I was 8. I have no memory of them interacting when they were married, or how their marriage affected our household. But once they split up, there was so much animosity and hatred. They couldn't speak to one another, even on the phone to make necessary arrangements, civilly for many years. My father still hasn't forgiven my mother for leaving him, and my mother has only barely forgiven herself for marrying my father in the first place.

Do not try this at home, folks.

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Wooo Daniel!!!! More money? Casual clothing! Hooray! May that hour commute be at freeway speeds rather than the irritating parked-or-crawling travel we've got around here.

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Oh, my. I can't even be specific, there's so much not good happening here.

This. EXACTLY this. -ma, vibes and strength to all that needs them.

Also, many belated birthday happies, it seems.

I can give a hearty congrats to Daniel, too. Too bad about the commute, but pay increases are of the good.

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{{Gud}} I am so sorry you have to go through this. All the ~ma you need. I hope everything works out in the best possible way for all involved.

{{sj}} I hope you feel better.

vw, I cannot believe that "doctor." What. the. hell. Ev.

And, finally, YAY, DANIEL!!! Congrats!!!!!

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Nicole get it right

Dude! MG used the Mom Voice on me! Coolio.

Yay, Daniel! That's great news.

I'm now home early from work so I can wait for ("I see you've found the softer side of") Sears to pick-up the second brand new dryer from them that's lasted less than a week. Actually, this dryer didn't even make it through a full cycle.

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Much ~ma for your dad, Steph. And calm for you. I can't even imagine the strain that these things put on you and yours. My thoughts are with you.

I hope it resolves itself into something easier and less painful for you both, and for your wonderful kids.

This. So very much of this. ((Gud))

And I know we're only getting your half of the story, and I know that the lack of romance must have been damaging -- but, still. Even so. I've known couples, both 3-D and online, who fell out of love and still negotiated some kind of peaceable coexistence. "For the sake of the kids" is an incredibly hackneyed phrase, but I do know people who've been willing to do that, to settle for the absence of romantic love because they'd committed to the marriage, they'd made children who hadn't asked for this situation, and they could see that their spouse was a good and present parent.

It's a hugely un-ideal situation, but it's less awful than where it seems you've been for the last year or so, with your wife needing the romance and punishing you for the lack of it, and not acknowledging the areas where you really are a good partner. From way over here on the left coast reading your pixels, it's seemed like she's been setting herself up for disappointment and you up for failure and castigation, over and over and over, and it's been bruising and misery-making for both of you. Even a cool and passionless armistice would have been less soul-killing than this.

JZ makes a very strong point as well. There are options that might not be the ultimate ideal, but that are far far better and less painful than what you are living in right now.

Gud-- I can only echo everyone's advice. It mnay be hard to believe now, but there is a better life waiting for you. The weight of constantly failing someone's expectations is heavier than you will ever know while you are living under it, and once the painful process of getting free of it is over you WILL feel better.

Robin, unsurprisingly, is wise. No matter how you both decide to stop the battles - whether it is a divorce, whether it is a peaceable coexistence that accepts a lack of romance for the sake of raising a family together, whether it is something that allows you to both be honest and get what you need from the relationship - I hope you can have a little faith in those of us who have gone through other painful things that it is so much easier and lighter and more breathable once you can move past.

I thank my parents all of the time, not only for getting a divorce when it was obvious that their personal relationship was over but more importantly for loving me enough to make sure that I was the most important person in the equation. Each of them could have made the situation ugly and neither of them did. Instead they got through the initial pain and, to this day, can peacefully coexist for my sake.

I realize that I was and am extremely lucky but it also proves that it can be done. It's not easy but living in a house full of turmoil and strife isn't easy for anyone either.

She went on and on about how often I see the "shrink" then told me that my cough was all in my head. Apparently, I can psychologically decide to turn it off.

Well of course you can. If you weren't so stubborn about that whole wanting to breathe thing, you would realize this. Bad doctor, no tongue depressor.

YAY Daniel! Congratulations!

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I'm sorry, Gud.

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Cass, I'm so sorry your PADI stuff got lost in the mail. I'm still hoping it'll bubble out of the system either at your end or mine. I feel bad, because you were being so kind. t /left field

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