Kristin -- You are SOOOO lucky to be in California right now.Just got back a few hours ago, and we are buried. Sorry I missed birthday shennanigans -- Rocky Horror reunion went long -- but it was good seeing you, Drew, Aimee and Miracleman while we were out there.

SJ, read back in Gary H.'s blog, as the apartment under his is for rent.

Blech. Self-image demons are spoiling my day. They're the nasty appearance related ones too. The others are easier for me to stomp since I can actually point to some decent things about myself as a person that'll pull me out of it. Thinking I have nice eyes while the evidence in the mirror shows that I'm a frizzy-headed fugmonster gets me nowhere.

What is with the recurring self-hate thread lately? I haven't weighed in (note the weight joke, there) because I'm trying to deny my own self-loathing, but the pictures I took of myself today with my shiny new digital camera make me want to never fucking leave the house again. Why can't I look at myself and see the person other people tell me is there? Or are they all just lying to me? I don't understand this dissonance between the reality I see and the reality my friends say they see. Damn it. All the good things I do can be wiped away into meaninglessness by one glance in a mirror.

You may never see yourself, Zenkitty. In fact, I wager no one who doesn't have to see themselves professionally ever gets close.

You can't see yourself move and react and break into a smile or fall into a frown. You're not going to catch a genuine laugh or look of warm concern. You can only see so many angles under limited variety of lighting.

You can't see what everyone else does because you're not looking at what everyone else is.

You can't see yourself move and react and break into a smile or fall into a frown. You're not going to catch a genuine laugh or look of warm concern. You can only see so many angles under limited variety of lighting.

this is true - I decicded at one point that I look better when I am moving - I think it was based on pictures that caught me in the middle of a laugh. pictures, mirrors, make me look flat and dull.

I hope you get a good response from your stepmom.

She did at least seem a little confused as to what I was told not to tell and ask the neicelet about. I said that if it had just been them wanting to tell her about deaths in the family in person, I wouldn't be asking the questions... Oh well.

I just do not have it in me to ask my idiot brother and sooo OC s-i-l. It would get ugly and it is easier to just move away and ignore them for the time being.

Bad body image demons, DJ. Want I should smite them? I have some unresolved issues and could use the opportunity to Cass!Smash.

Thanks, ita. You are wise. I'm sure that's true. But I want to see the beautiful person my friends see, not the mottled distorted creature that looks back at me. Maybe I just have to trust them. And never leave the house without concealer and eyeliner.

You can't see what everyone else does because you're not looking at what everyone else is.

t wolf-whistles Heather

Wait, is that inappriate?

Heh. I have an extra-long scarf my sister made me that I was tempted to wrap around my whole head when I went out to the store today.

Mr. Jane's being really nice about it even though he's sick and likely doesn't feel like playing the "Make your wife feel pretty" game tonight. I think he's planning on getting me stuff at the grocery store on his way home.

I swear, my most romantic Valentine's day present is going to be zit cream and de-frizz.