When that happens, I try to remember HALT -- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, adding in my personal favorites, Premenstrual (probably not your problem) and Migrainy.
Let's see... No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Tension or sinus likely, but yes. I'm not sure this is a happy-making checklist. Useful, but depressing today.
I need to run to the pharmacy and Trader Joe's. First I need to shower. Yep. Any minute now I am going to get motivated. Any minute...
lunch at Chez Panisse was a two hour culinary orgasmic affair.
Nummy...
JZ, you darling girl.....insent.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "I hate myself", just like anybody else.
Anybody not me, I guess, since I never think that. I wonder where my overdeveloped ego came from? Pavlovian conditioning? Fluoride?
I need to give some credit to my best friend in high school, Alex. He developed an ethos (based on
A Separate Peace
and
Cool Hand Luke)
that bending to anybody's disapproval was the worst thing you could do. The worst betrayal of yourself. It was just drilled into me and it's been a really useful shield ever since.
And he backed that up in high school and in college by including everybody that came into our sphere. He found something cool in everybody. Not that he was a saint - he was very iconoclastic and stepped on toes a lot.
He wasn't tough though either. He was a swimmer with long blonde hair, and before he broke his nose and grew facial hair he looked very androgynous. But he'd purposefully push through the jarhead football players, inviting abuse (which he got). But if he met a football player that wasn't an asshole - that's all he cared about.
Anyway, I'm always boggled by the self-loathing. My immediate instinct is always "Fuck off!" instead of "I suck." Even when I do suck, I don't think that about myself.
Fuck off is your psyche's best friend.
Also, Teppy's hawttt. Her poor self image can fuck right off.
MG, I'm glad you had a fabulous lunch! My mouth is watering in anticipation for the post when you actually tell us what you had.
As for the people who are self-hating today, I only have this to say: You're awesome, love ya, need ya, want the best for ya. If there's any way in which I can help all you have to do is ask, or, if you're feeling shy, just say, "I wish someone would..." and I'll do my best to be there.
Meanwhile, back on the interview front, after having lunch with the candidate, I want to keep this fellow that's here today. He not only blushes at the turn of a phrase, he's totally in love with his wife in that not-annoying way that let's you know he's a Good Guy.
I vote that everyone take their self-loathing and instead direct it towards my evil stupid clients who are making me stay late with their stupid last-minute orders.
I vote that everyone take their self-loathing and instead direct it towards my evil stupid clients who are making me stay late with their stupid last-minute orders.
Can I send them my Cold O'Fecking Doom, instead? I guarantee they'll be too miserable to bother you.
Yes please! And if anyone has boils, send those too.
Anyway, I'm always boggled by the self-loathing.
Not everyone has a teflon ego. And my lack of a teflon ego doesn't make how I feel right now any less real.
I wound up giving myself a mantra many years ago; now when I'm feeling full of rage, I'm as likely to react "I hate the President" as I am "I hate myself." Don't hate yourself, hate Bush!
I only have this to say: You're awesome, love ya, need ya, want the best for ya. If there's any way in which I can help all you have to do is ask, or, if you're feeling shy, just say, "I wish someone would..." and I'll do my best to be there.
You are the absolutely sweetest.
Not everyone has a teflon ego. And my lack of a teflon ego doesn't make how I feel right now any less real.
The feelings are completely real.
I have a vague theory that self-loathing and a total lack of it are just mirror images of the same thing.
