Ugh. I have no work work to do. It feels like a waste to be here. Yet, I'm supposed to be here for another three hours.

After all, reality is bigger than me.

And he's a bully.

Yeah. A lot of her ideas come from Buddhism. Mindfulness is another big one.

I've got Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With The Heart Of The Buddha. It was helping when everything was so uncertain. After Z asked for the divorce, though, I haven't had the strength to go back and continue reading, because while it's very good and helping, it also brings up things that I haven't the strength to confront right now.

I do repeat a non-god version of the Serenity Prayer almost every day, though. That was put up all over our house after my sister died, so I know it well.

Speaking of radical acceptance...I need some help with this one. Someone tell me I'm being silly.

I have literally no work to do right now at work. I've e-mailed all the project-managing people in the office, and no one has work for me. I'm terrified that this is because I've been out so much...that they feel like they can't rely on me to get things done. How likely do we think this is?

It's entirely unlikely. It's entirely likely that they like you, and they want to keep you, and they have the budget, so they want to pay you. When they get more work to do, they will give it to you. Unfortunately, while you were out, someone else did it, so it's not sitting there waiting for you, but there will be more when there is more.

The method I use to accept my problems is to blame myself. You see, it's my fault anyway because I suck, so I should just lump it. The idea of positively accepting a situation just boggles me.

And here is where I feel compelled to reiterate that TOM SCOLA IS CRAZY.

It's entirely unlikely. It's entirely likely that they like you, and they want to keep you, and they have the budget, so they want to pay you. When they get more work to do, they will give it to you. Unfortunately, while you were out, someone else did it, so it's not sitting there waiting for you, but there will be more when there is more.

also, pre holiday, that will make work stuff more irregular.

I think that's unlikely -- is your office fully manned? No one on vacation?

I cannot begin to tell you how slow it is in my office right now -- but I work at a university and classes are not in session.

I'm terrified that this is because I've been out so much...that they feel like they can't rely on me to get things done.

I suspect it's more the former than the latter. I don't think at all that they think you can't/won't get things done, but it wouldn't suprise me if they haven't been setting things aside for you, you know. At soon as it registers that you're back in action, I think you should find more stuff coming your way.

That all makes sense. Thanks, guys.