I'm not going to my first class today. Panic attack. I am trying to pull myself together for the second class.

Would talking help? Feel free to call me at work. I'm always available to you. {{{sj}}}

You're in the toughest days now, but if you can make it through the next week, the very hardest days will be behind you.

Quitnet calls the first seven days Hell Week and the second seven days Heck Week. I haven't had to deal with smoker's cough yet though, so I'm wondering if that's still to come. I'll have to check the website later.

eta - Robin, I hope the cramps ease and the massage is fabulous.

General poll: what did you do after you graduated college?

I moved to the Bay Area to collect the reward for the deal I made with my parents (they didn’t want me to go to art school straight from high school, so they said they’d pay for art school if I went to a “regular” college first). I went 2 semesters and dropped out due to massive guilt from still being dependent on my parents and the pressure from family not to pursue art. Then I got a job in a comic book store while I waited to get into SFSU and get a teaching credential. Then I ended up not doing much teaching. I don’t recommend this route.

I heartily agree with a number of things people have pointed out. Internships are fantastic steps to careers you want. If I’d known how important “who you know” is, I would have done an internship. Pixar and Lucasfilm both offer internships, for instance. A foot in the door to cool workplaces that are normally very hard to get into.

Most of us are more energetic and flexible in our youth than when we get older. Now’s the time to do world traveling, try out new towns, get new experiences. I wish I’d tried harder to go to Europe more. I wasn’t disabled then and I am now. I could travel on a shoestring then whereas now I’d have to *have* a comfy bed, etc.

It’s a cliché, but “follow your bliss”. You’ve only got one life to live and it’s your life. Don’t do stuff just to please other people or just because you think you ought to. This doesn’t mean you always get to do just what you want, but if you do something that you aren’t wild about, make sure it’s because it’s a wise step towards doing what you want to do. Every person I’ve ever met who has a cool job (in the arts and humanities....I’m not including people who happened to be talented in areas that society automatically remunerates well) that they love got there because they just did what they loved and were good at and eventually attracted an audience or employer that was willing to pay them for doing that.

You can move somewhere you think you like and then try to find a job. You can land a job and then move where that job is. If you’re already pretty sure of what it is you want to do for a living and it’s not something ubiquitous, get the job first. If job opportunities in what you want to do are readily available anywhere, pick your town first. Whatever you do, getting a job close to where you live RAWKS. I live 3.5 miles from where I work. I’ve been bad about biking to work, but it’s an option. And that saves money. I also don’t waste my time commuting. It takes me 15 min. to get home at the end of the day. More free time for me. I used to commute to the city and it took me 40 min. - 1hr. each way. I’m never going back to that again unless it is a tremendously high-paying and fulfilling job.

(Though I will note that Hec has been putting SF consistently in the ring for the last three years.)

SF is great. Most of the Bay Area is wonderful. But it’s not cheap. Of course, getting back to “energetic and flexible”, young folks can live in houseshares and warehouses in sketchy neighborhoods and make living in the city work. Alternatively, you can live outside of SF proper and pay hundreds less in rent. But you won’t be in the thick of it. You’ll be a BART train or CalTrain ride away. But the Bay Area rocks. I’ve often said that if I move from here it’s because I’m moving out of the country.

Would talking help? Feel free to call me at work. I'm always available to you. {{{sj}}}

Thanks. I'll probably call you in a little while.

Oh, dear. In commenting on a news story we read, chatty!co-worker and I inadvertently taught another co-worker what a dominatrix is.

But really -- who makes it to their mid-to-late 40s without knowing what a dominatrix is, even from jokes or movies?

t edit And when I posted this, I forgot what my tagline was. Seriously. I crack myself up.

who makes it to their mid-to-late 40s without knowing what a dominatrix is, even from jokes or movies?

I had to explain Tantra (and Tantric sex, sigh) to my mother. Where did I first learn about Tantra? From a book on our bookshelves at home.

Short version: it's miraculous what a person can ignore.

I spent the summer at home working and saving and then went to grad school in Boston. I didn't know anyone there and only had enough money for a month or so, but I got a job (as a stripper) and everything worked out fine. I also did a lot of traveling during those years and I am so glad I did.

Short version: it's miraculous what a person can ignore.

Manoman. You're not wrong.

I haven't had to deal with smoker's cough yet though, so I'm wondering if that's still to come.

Nicole, last time I quit, I didn't have the cough, but I did have a low-grade sore throat for several weeks. Didn't expect that. Someone said it was from my throat not being anesthetized from smoke anymore. Go, you! Keep up the good work.

Steph, inadvertent learning is better than no learning. Your naive coworker is lucky to have you.

I'm loving everyone's after-college stories.

Not to slam my mother (who's a brilliant woman), but I learnt about Tantric sex when I was 11. The same woman never saw or smelled a joint until university. You get into your little bubble, you reinforce the walls, and you just bob along.

Dominatrices don't exist because people wouldn't want to do that sort of thing.

After college, I did a year of grad school, realized it was a mistake, then went on to law school.

Mixed feelings about my path. I'd like to have spent a year or two doing something completely out of the ordinary. OTOH, my practical side points out that, if I'd graduated any later, I'd have landed right in the middle of the miserable job market of c. 1990.