Strength to you, Gud.

Aimee, don't get the Bitty Baby for her, wait until she's older and get her a regular American Girl doll. Or Coconut and Licorice. I can say we got our money's worth out of my daughter's Kit doll and alllll the stuff we got for her. She still "plays" with Coconut and Licorice even though she's 14. I think she still changes Kit's clothes every once in a while. But if you can't wait, there's going to be a new American Girl store at the Grove in April so at least you won't have to pay shipping.

She already has the BItty Baby. She got it for Christmas from my parents (although, let's be honest - from my mother. Who never gave me dolls.) and now I'm just looking at the clothes.

And Em LOVES her doll. When we ask her, "Where's your baby?" she'll go and fetch her and pick her up and squeeze her and give her kisses.

Edit: Em with her Bitty Baby. [link]

(And truth be told - *I* can't wait for the American Girl store to open in April!)

Nicole, the shoes arrived! They are *serious* heels, yo! I feel like a drag queen in them. Which is to say, of course, FABULOUS. I actually have no trouble walking in them. Thanks!

Em with her Bitty Baby

OMG that picture is tooo cute!

I see that your mom is adhering to the "Grandma code" too. That means that your child will get to do everything that was totally FORBIDDEN for you to do, plus they will get toys and stuff that you longed for but never got. I would have been killed twice over if I'd roller skated in the living room, but my kids? My mom let them roller skate PLUS ride their bikes in the house! I flipped out when I found out. Also? My daughter got an Easy Bake Oven when she was 7. It was the MOST forbidden toy when I was that age and longed for it. When we discussed these events, I got "well, they are my grandchildren"... gee, thanks MOM!

I have to admit that I opened all the American Girl stuff before we gave it to Allie because it was so fun. I'm sad that she's too old for American Girl now, because the store would have been a terrific place for a birthday party.

It is true, that it's what she feels that's important, not details and I have screwed up a lot. Not really on purpose, but more from not knowing what exactly to do.

{{Gud}} You are not a mind reader. None of us know what to do without communication. I see you trying so hard to provide a happy and safe home for your family. Relationships are tough but it can never be about what one person feels is important. Unless both parties’ needs and life objectives are being satisfied it won't work in the long run. Relationships don't have a chance unless both people are committed to making it work. Both halves of the whole have to hold the other's values in as high a regard as their own.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

Teppy! There is no way I am asking for pictures of you in the shoes after the prior discussion; however, I must insist on seeing them in SF in May.

From Overheard in New York

Chick #1: So how was it?
Chick #2: It was bitchfabulous.
Chick #1: Awesome. So it was bitchtastic?
Chick #2: Nice! I like that one. Yeah, it was bitchtastic.
Chick #1: And the coffee?
Chick #2: Bitchalicious.
Chick #1: Hey, I just realized someone might hear us.

--41st & 6th

I'm about to stroke OUT.

This evening, I discover that I can't reach my phone clients because I have no dial tone. Not the rarest of situations due to the squirrel activity in my neighborhood.

I go downstairs to the store and call Verizon, who inform me that my phone has been disconnected due to non-payment of the bill I paid two weeks ago. No warning. No, hey, might wanna fork over the dough. Nothing. Just, flip that switch and the line goes dead. And my CLIENTS hear a message that the phone...the one I've paid for?...has been disconnected!!!

Aaaaagggh.

Weird how the dsl works...guess I musta paid THAT ONE and just forgotten to pay the phone, which is on the same bill.

Tommorrow...after I do some early morning screaming at the billing department...I'm making arrangements to switch to speakeasy voip. Okay, so the internet phone doesn't work when the power goes out. Hey, my phone doesn't work when the SQUIRRELS are out, how bad could it be?

Aaaaagh.

Gud, I'm so sorry. I know nobody standing on the outside of a marriage looking in can ever really know what the people inside it are experiencing (especially nobody standing so far on the outside they're in another state, looking at letters floating on a screen), but it just kills me to read you saying again that you've screwed up, that you've said or done the wrong thing and it's your duty to undefensively sit and listen to your own screw-ups.

And it just kills me again that you never seem to get credit from anyone but the Buffistas for what a very good, loving, committed dad you are, how healthy and glowing your kids are, the security and sense of self and sly Gud-ian wit that radiates out from every picture, every movie, every story you post. Even if you screwed up a million ways from Sunday in a million other places in your life, those kids and your huge wide-open heartfulness toward them are such a great and good life's work. Maybe your wife does have her reasons, but I'm just bewildered that she gives you no credit, no patience, no benefit of the doubt at all for that.

Beej, I am convinced that there are no good phone options. All the phone companies suck. They have been the cause of much distress in my life.

It does seem like there are no good options. I've never had a cell phone, just because I figured my landline was hassle enough. What, in the name of sweet, weeping Moses are we supposed to DO?

I'm furious. And getting furiouser by the minute.