My mother would adore the academic stuff.

Any parameters, other than 'be American'?

That's not even a parameter. Just willing to get married here. My guy should be funny and intense and liking of the dork and the recreational learning to kill people. I understand that an interest overlap with mine is recommended, so that'd be cool too.

Hot young baristas also considered. It doesn't have to be a marriage that lasts forever, as long as it's good while it does.

Allyson, totally fix your parents' computer. Don't move icons or anything, though, because that's what they'll connipt about.

I can't remember the great virus freeware I put on my work PC. The icon was of a little red spider, does anyone know what I'm talking about? I figure maybe I can at least defrag the bitch, yeah?

ita, I have two local guys for you: Cat-Stack Guy (snarkalicious, creative, very cute in glasses, does improv) or Latino!Xander (painfully sweet and loyal, also an improv guy, terrific guitarist, deeply comic-book and Whedonverse literate); I don't think either one is really a right good match for you (though L!X would fuss admirably over you during your migraines and would always be willing to make a chai run to Coffee Bean for you), but if your aim is just to thwart your sister, they're both available and local, no traveling required.

Based on any criteria deeper and more complicated than accessibility, improv-ness, and chai runs, I'm having trouble thinking of anyone who's good enough for you.

Spidra, I think Levenger has something like that.

Allyson, who would turn down a scientist? Particularly an employed one? Do you have one for me, too?

(though L!X would fuss admirably over you during your migraines and would always be willing to make a chai run to Coffee Bean for you),

That's totally what she needs!!

That's totally what she needs!!

Only if he'd let me scream at him to leave me alone without taking it personally. Because sometimes I need that too.

RIO!!!! OMG, potential!pit bull is soooooooo sweetfaced!!!! Plus, I'm a total sucker for pits. I love them, even when my mom's pit is trying to intimidate me off of "his" futon.

Also, I am really rather drunk, but that's okay. I think J. is too, since she is talking to the movie.

But is she talking to it in FRENCH?

Heh. Best juliana memory EVAH.

That's totally what she needs!!

I'm mildly obsessed with the difficult-to-pair goodness of L!X. He's completely Xander and Wash muddled together into one sweetly geeksome package: kind, upstanding, fiercely loyal, bright, and just thoroughly good. He has a daughter (mom was a fling, they're co-parenting but not together) to whom he's devoted: thinks the sun rises and sets on her, spends as much time as possible with her, and wants to find someone to truly Be With so he can give her siblings and roots. He's poor right now because he's helping pay her mother's way through college, since mom put her schooling on hold during the daughter's babyhood.

He's a Faire geek, subspecialty Morris dancing: in college, he was brought into it by a PTSD-suffering Vietnam vet who found some kind of healing and wholeness by throwing himself into a profound obsession with the history and layers of meaning to Morris-dancing; when he talks about his mentor, his voice gets all slow and rich and glowing with fondness and sadness (the mentor passed away a couple of years ago). And he has a vast rich depth of knowledge of English and Spanish history (he's part Moorish), and a love of Shakespeare, and a love of the worlds of the Buffyverse and Alan Moore's graphic novels and all that is deep and literate and twisty.

And he's also short, and teddy-bear-shaped, and jug-eared, and wears the world's ugliest Coke-bottle glasses, and he uses emoticons in his emails, and I'm always all fretful that he'll end up alone because people keep red-flagging the shortness and the emoticons and not sticking around long enough to notice his Washy Xanderness.

I'd be fucking ecstatic if somebody who knew handled something weird about my P.C. Allyson. And you have Adaware, which I know cause I have it.Actually, I have two...spybot too. Because I was all like "Die, you spyware bastards, die!" after having to pay a techie $100 to clean it up after stuff started shutting down. Being ignorant...so expensive.JZ, your friend(?) sounds like a nice man. Never fear about the emoticons...the guy I'm hopelessly in love with sort of has an emoticon problem. And that sentence sounded so *nice* in my head. Dag.

Spybot, Allyson. Also Ad-aware and the Microsoft Beta Spyware thing.

Do it and don't tell them. It'll be fine.