in LA I can drink the coffee and take or leave the number as I see fit without any hassle.

Reminds me of a comedian's bit on guys who buy her drinks. "Buddy, you gave me a drink, not a kidney."

If I ordered Shrinp Scampi and it was cold, or greasy or the shrimp was off, I'd send it back. If I ordered it and it turned out I didn't like how Shrinp Scampi tastes, I'd eat it and think "well, I won't order THAT again."

Gah. Can I go home? I never want to take steroids ever again.

I'm alone in the office. I just got up from a nap under my desk.

Unfortunately, big client is processing their payroll, which means every so often I get an email asking me to manually edit some record (because the system is locked for the processing).

It's generally considered acceptable to send back food you don't like -- why should wine be treated differently?

Honestly, I think people should send food back only if it's not prepared properly, like a steak ordered rare is delivered well-done, or the pasta al dente is actually crunchy.

I just feel you should know what you're ordering, food- and wine-wise. If you don't know what steak tartare is like, you might be in for a shock when it's served, but that doesn't mean it was prepared wrong. And ordering a cabernet when you only drink riesling -- that doesn't mean the wine is "bad."

I'd only send it back if it tasted wrong, but not if I just didn't like it.

Is there that much of a difference? Barring something obvious like "there's a fingernail in my soup," isn't "wrong" mostly a matter of taste?

I just feel you should know what you're ordering, food- and wine-wise.

I sort of see that, but sometimes wires just get crossed. I fell in love with this artichoke cheese dip in one restaurant (artichoke hearts in a terrific cheese sauce, basically), and saw some stuff with the same name at another one (which turned out to be wee bits of artichokes in a sea of spinach, with some cheese to bind it). I ordered it and got something totally different than what I expected. Doesn't mean it was bad food per se, but is sure wasn't what I'd thought I'd ordered.

isn't "wrong" mostly a matter of taste?

See above. If it's burnt, or raw, or has randomly sprouted cheese where cheese doesn't belong, it's wrong. Too salty is something I'd like to call wrong, but I know that's just me, and my tastes, and I'd just call that dish an object lesson.

To me, wrong means it was badly-prepared. This is different than a dish which is well-prepared but it just doesn't suit my palate.

I've only ever sent food back that was actively raw, and not the sort of raw that is intentional.

My mother once got angry when she was served a dish that had neglected to mention anywhere in the description that the crab portion of the dish was a hard-shell crab in the shell served on top of the rest of the food. It was cooked, happily, but still not easy to deal with.

ita, I thought I understood your earlier response about provocateuse okay, though if you recall the clarification I'd be interested. How much money have you made by now?

I'm with ita on the food backsending.

As for a drink being sent with a number, one of the advantages of not being considered that pretty is that I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. Phew. I've had drinks bought for me once or twice where it was sent over, but no number. I used to try to politely refuse the drink because I hate feeling beholden to people. But eventually I realized that people think that's rude. So now I just take the drink, nod my thanks to whoever the waitress points out and leave it at that. This drink-sending-over has only happened to me a few times and usually in contexts when I was performing so it was easier to take that if it had come completely out of the blue.

I sympathize with all the things you mentioned, ita, because guys who use that approach are usually very "goal-oriented", for lack of a better way of putting it.