Buffistas

Gabriel: Are you trying to destroy this family? Simon: I didn't realize it would be so easy.

'Safe'

Natter 41: Why Do I Click on ita's Links?!

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.

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shrift - Dec 13, 2005 9:59:22 am PST #1693 of 10002

"You can't put a price on the joy of not giving a shit." -Zenkitty

Dear Clients,

I know we've had this talk before, but perhaps it's time for a refresher course:

1) I am not the Department of Everything.
2) Please see above. No, now read it. Carefully. You didn't comprehend it, did you?
3) When you ask me for things that do not fall under my purview and I redirect you to the proper channels, it is a courtesy.
4) When I don't redirect you quickly enough and you miss a deadline, please stop blaming it on me.
5) I will cut you.

Thanks,
Me

Dear Coworker,

I don't apologize for startling you so badly that you screamed like a little girl just now, since you were in my office and should have expected to find me there. I do apologize for laughing at you for five minutes straight. That was probably a little much.

Sincerely,
Me

msbelle - Dec 13, 2005 10:01:48 am PST #1694 of 10002

I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb

shrift makes me laugh out loud.

Gudanov - Dec 13, 2005 10:03:15 am PST #1695 of 10002

Coding and Sleeping

You know, I think point number 5 really sends the right message.

Jessica - Dec 13, 2005 10:04:31 am PST #1696 of 10002

And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

1) I am not the Department of Everything.

I need to print this out in ten-foot high flaming letters and post it above my desk at all times.

brenda m - Dec 13, 2005 10:07:27 am PST #1697 of 10002

If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there

Point number five is swiftly becoming my favorite threat in the world. People really sit up and take notice of that one.

§ ita § - Dec 13, 2005 10:07:31 am PST #1698 of 10002

Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I need to print this out in ten-foot high flaming letters and post it above my desk at all times.

Yes. I would put it next to the "Do your own job" sign that's also in my imaginary cubicle.

tommyrot - Dec 13, 2005 10:11:06 am PST #1699 of 10002

Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

DirecTV fined for do-not-call violations

But the FTC, in its complaint, alleges that DirecTV "knew or consciously avoided knowing" that do not call violations were occurring.

Can I just say that "consciously avoided knowing" is my new favorite phrase?

tommyrot - Dec 13, 2005 10:17:56 am PST #1700 of 10002

Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

It has been determined that shrift's clients knew or consciously avoided knowing that they are wankers.

Stephanie - Dec 13, 2005 10:23:34 am PST #1701 of 10002

Trust my rage

Can someone make some chocolate or other sweet appear in my kitchen? Please?????

tommyrot - Dec 13, 2005 10:36:28 am PST #1702 of 10002

Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

Hilton Named Worst Celebrity Dog Owner

"First she loses Tinkerbell, then she ditches her for a cuter dog, then replaces that dog with a ferret, then a kinkajou monkey and then, I gather, a goat," Padgett said in a statement. "Recently Tinkerbell was spotted back in Paris' arms. But how long will she be in favor this time?"

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