You know, ita, I heard there was a jackhole award being organized on lj.... Maybe you need to nominate someone?

Hey Nilly! Whyfore whiny?

There's not.

Hey, *I* am still angry on your behalf.

Whyfore whiny?

t whine The computer that was supposed to be fixed last week (after keeping up with freezing on me, making me lose weeks of data and results), works now slower than it used to, lost a directory which I can hardly work without, and all the (little that it had) Hebrew fonts, so I can't even read e-mails from students. On top of that, the people who were supposed to deliver the stove postponed the delivery from a week (like it says on their website) to two weeks, so we won't be able to cook anything until Friday, at least. And I didn't even finish half the grading I had to finish for last week t /whine t /for now, at least

In-my-life life jackholes...

You know, all this makes me upset about me too. Because I can't deal with stress right now -- it just makes me physically ill. And I can barely make it through a 40 hour work week in the office. I don't want to have to feel bad about saying "You're the adults. I'm just the project manager. Good luck, and update me when you're done." so I can sit around for my only free day in a week, a day when hanging out with my best friend tires me so much and so self-consciously.

I know that's not a lot to ask for, but I haven't yet ditched the "well, maybe if I'd called repeatedly someone would have admitted to me that they hadn't checked stuff out" guilt/anxiety.

Grownups, right? When did I become more grownup than other gainfully employed people? That wasn't supposed to happen.

And I'm the one that's going to be on the receiving end of a come-to-Jesus talk for all this, and for not showing enough initiative. I don't have any left. What I have instead is a migraine at five o'clock on a Sunday morning. It's not a fair trade.

Nilly-- those aren't whines. Those are gripes. Don't feel self-conscious.

I don't want to have to feel bad about saying "You're the adults. I'm just the project manager. Good luck, and update me when you're done."

I know this doesn't necessarily help, but you really shouldn't feel bad about that. Would it help if I told you that I learned in my Project Management class that a key aspect of a successful project is having staff members who can do their jobs without handholding? Because I did.

And goodness, Nilly, what a pile of crap to deal with! You whine all you want.

ita, is there a way to at least make the not-enough-initiative-talk people realize that this has absolutely nothing to do with what you can or can't do? That it's other people dropping the ball despite everything you did, not because of it?

Grr, that's so unfair! Imagine-the-face-in-krav-in-order-to-kick sort of unfair!

I learned in my Project Management class that a key aspect of a successful project is having staff members who can do their jobs without handholding? Because I did.

I learnt that too. And so did the person who's going to give me a talking to. Apparently that doesn't count.

It's like being a bigger sister all over again, but without the bonds of blood. I need to cope for everyone else. Fuck that. I'm tired, and I'm weak, and I'm plain not well. I just hate bringing that up, as much as I hate the "Well, I'm surrounded by incompetents!" because they both sound so much like ducking responsibility.

See, I am an older sister, the sort who had coping-for-other drilled deep into her subconscious. It's a hard habit to break.

But I don't cope for my sister anymore, and my manager is not my mother. Wish that made it easier to get over it.

Would documenting help? For you, if not for your higher-ups?

they both sound so much like ducking responsibility

But, wait - you've done all you can, right? So what exactly are you ducking?

There are times when even the worst seemingly-excuses are actually reasons.

But, as an older sister myself, I totally understand where you're coming from. Still, these people are not your responsibility. You have indeed done what was your share.

Would documenting help? For you, if not for your higher-ups?

I'm assembling a file. Still makes me feel like a traitor, but there you go...

The NY Times is using Spike TV market research as the basis of front-page (in the Style section, but still) articles.

Not so long ago Sawyer's callousness would have made him a villain, but on "Lost," he is sympathetic, a man whose penchant for dispensing Darwinian truths over kindnesses drives not only the action but the show's underlying theme, that in the social chaos of the modern world, the only sensible reflex is self-interest.

Perhaps not coincidentally Sawyer is also the character on the show with whom young men most identify, according to research conducted by the upstart male-oriented network Spike TV, which interviewed thousands of young men to determine what that coveted and elusive demographic likes most in its television shows.

Spike found that men responded not only to brave and extremely competent leads but to a menagerie of characters with strikingly antisocial tendencies: Dr. Gregory House, a Vicodin-popping physician on Fox's "House"; Michael Scofield on "Prison Break," who is out to help his brother escape from jail; and Vic Mackey, played by Michael Chiklis on "The Shield," a tough-guy cop who won't hesitate to beat a suspect senseless. Tony Soprano is their patron saint, and like Tony, within the confines of their shows, they are all "good guys."

Gary A. Randall, a producer who helped create "Melrose Place," is developing a show called "Paradise Salvage," about two friends who discover a treasure map, for Spike TV. He said the proliferation of antisocial protagonists came from a concerted effort by networks to channel the frustrations of modern men.

"It's about comprehending from an entertainment point of view that men are living a very complex conundrum today," he said. "We're supposed to be sensitive and evolved and yet still in touch with our Neanderthal, animalistic, macho side." Watching a deeply flawed male character who nevertheless prevails, Mr. Randall argued, makes men feel better about their own flaws and internal conflicts.

"You think, 'It's O.K. to go to a strip club and have a couple of beers with your buddies and still go home to your wife and baby and live with yourself,' " he said.