Dear Coworkers,

When I drag my ass into the office early because I have a doctor's appointment and more work than I can handle stacked on my desk, please for not to mock me. When you do, it makes me think about shattering my coffee mug and shoving the broken shards into your neck. This is why you normally do not see me at this hour. If you value your lives, please help me maintain the delicate balance between misanthropy and murder by scattering like cockroaches the next time I head for the coffee maker.

Ta,
shrift

Also, UPS is holding my iPod hostage.

That can't be helping your mood any.

Not so much. What did help my mood was getting a phone call saying, "You're right, they're crazy, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again," regarding the clients who were driving me bonkers yesterday.

Maybe germs spread through the interbunny.

This. Keep your antivirus software up to date, peoples!

Last night when I was still up at 1, I didn't want to go to work today. When I woke up thanks to the Miracle of Womanhood at 6 this morning, I really didn't want to go to work today. But yet I will. Because today is Give Notice Day, and I don't want to stretch it out anymore. So I'm late, but I'm going in.

Woo. Put off training thing until tomorrow, because I have no time. Now I just need to call UPS and make them gimme my iPod.

The Cyclotron Comes to the 'Hood

Albert Swank Jr., a 55-year-old civil engineer in Anchorage, Alaska, is a man with a mission. He wants to install a nuclear particle accelerator in his home.

But when neighbors learned of plans to place the 20-ton device inside the house where Swank operates his engineering firm, their response was swift: Not in my backyard.

Local lawmakers rushed to introduce emergency legislation banning the use of cyclotrons in home businesses. State health officials took similar steps, and have suspended Swank's permit to operate cyclotrons on his property.

When owning a cyclotron is criminal, only criminals will own cyclotrons.

Now I'm earwormed with "My Cyclotron Brings all the Boys to the Yard."

I don't know what form of the sick that I am getting, but I am still tired after 9 hours of sleep and am weak and unfocused. Also? really thirsty and extremely bothered by being too warm.

I really wish the Plague wasn't making y'all so much sicker than I. But for one nap, it really didn't suck the life out of me. I could have chopped off my head at points, but the rest of me was fine (I didn't know my eyebrows could hurt. That was weird.)

Still iffy voice. And I think this mornings meds are making me a bit lightheaded. Focus is HARD.