I do have a couple of tablecloths with nothing to do

Play bullfighter

I know! Make a fort out of them plus some couch cushions!

Ok I'm leaving for Target now, really I am.

I've tried to play bullfighter with the dog. He just looks at me like I'm crazy.

This is the same dog that ran into the sliding glass door hard enough for me to hear the thump upstairs last week, so it's not like he's averse to charging at things. Just things he can't see through, I guess.

All right, there are some scary folks, especially little girls, in New York. From Overheard in New York.

Little girl: I'm tired of thinking about ponies! Now it's time to kill!

--Park Slope

Girl on cell: I couldn't imagine myself stabbing someone...although I would understand if someone stabbed me.

--2nd Avenue & 13th Street

Man on cell: Yeah, they ask you a lot of fool questions there, like if you hear voices in your head that tell you to kill people...Hell, no, I tell 'em I do it on my own!

--21st & 3rd

Little girl: I drink human blood, but not yours; don't even think about me drinking your blood.

--Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights

I'd just throw a tablecloth over 'em and be done with it.

Okay! Funny story.

I have this microwave that my parents bought me. It's one of those under the cabinet dealios. I've never had it installed because it needs a special electrical line and the electrician I had come in wanted a grand to install it. So I have this enormous box in the middle of my room.

For Allyson's birthday, like, two years ago? I was having people over and I needed to do something with the box. I put a leftover piece of plywood on top of it and covered the whole thing with an extra curtain I had and used it as a little sideboard.

At some point late in the evening, after the top had been all cleared off, one of my guests sat down on it. I spent the rest of the party eyeing him closely and praying the box didn't collapse.

Heh. My SIL likes to decorate things just so. First christmas season we went to spend with them, one of the things she did was to disguise my brother's Big Box O'CarCrap by covering it in fabric and putting a lightweight creche on top of it.

So who decided to try to use it as a chair and got stabbed by a bunch of bolts and wrenches and sockets? My dear brother, who didn't even notice the absence of his BBOCC until he fell in it.

LMAO. See, that was my fear.

Now, if Allyson or Polgara had fallen through the box, we would have all just laughed. But if this particular person had landed on his ass?

Well, we would have still laughed. But I would have been mortified for years to come.

I explained to that person after he took a bit of a stumble in a parking lot the other day that the way it would work if he fell was:

1) I point and laugh

2a) I help him up, or

2b) call an ambulance if needed

When it comes to my brother & SIL, it's always a toss up who is going to end up the butt of some joke or happenstance. Though flakiness induced? That will ALWAYS be my brother.

Somebody stop me before I Queer Eye the poor lad.

JZ, you would not believe the number of times Megan Walker, Kat Perez, and I have threatened The Scola with that very fate.

he took a bit of a stumble in a parking lot the other day

See, THAT I could laugh at. It wasn't my parking lot.

hee

Though flakiness induced? That will ALWAYS be my brother.

It's like a contest between the men in my family as to who is going to be the flakiest.