Dear Low Twentysomething Who Works In The Microbiology Lab Down The Hall:

Listen, could you wear your low-rider jeans a little lower? While we can see your back tattoo, your dental floss underwear, and most of your buttcrack, we can't actually see your anus. That is why you're wearing them so low in the first place, right? To show the world your anus? Or am I confusing you with an astronomy lab worker's uniform?

Thanks much.
dw

oh gross!

I have Kit-Kats, and Mounds, and 100 Grands, and...

DX has good candy.

I have some tootsie rolls, but they are all for me. I've never had a single trick or treater here.

I get bummed at Halloween. The last apartment I had and this condo have security locked doors, so we never get trick or treaters. I'm a deprived person, no cuteness for me! However, I still have candy.

Oh, the cutest thing I saw on my way home: A little tiny kid in a stroller, all wrapped up in blanket, but with Spider-Man legs sticking out.

I had this man come to my door with his little child (he was about 3 I think):

"excuse me, my son is allergic to chocolate, can he have the suckers?"

Is it evil that I guffawed?

Then you are exactly as evil as I. Am.

Has a preacher ever actually won the Darwin Awards while exercising his pastoral duties before?

Dear Low Twentysomething Who Works In The Microbiology Lab Down The Hall:

Wah! This is me. By accident, but ALL THE TIME. And I don't wear tiny tiny underwear, I tend towards big ol' boxers, but still. I just have no hips to speak of, and even when I wear a tight belt, there tends to be slippage throughout the day. Long story short, pretty much everyone I know is more acquainted with my crack than either they or I would be happy with.

Has a preacher ever actually won the Darwin Awards while exercising his pastoral duties before?

Good question. How do they choose those anyway? Do people nominate candidates or do the originators just scan the newspapers for stupid people tricks?