does living in Rivendell make you skinny enough to fit into her clothes?

Eventually. Let's face it Rivendell is pretty, but there's no place to eat. Plus when you move in, you are required to take part in the the mandatory Elfercize program.

Wheee! I have the day off. Unpaid, but still: a day off. I'm going to go for a nice healthy walk around the lake, and then I shall make deep dish apple pie and work on my blanket project.

So I have to get to go down to LA to attend some corporate training. Sadly, it turns out I will need "more professional" attire. I don't seem to understand what falls between The Suit I wore for my interview and what I've been wearing. I thought that wearing good slacks with a drapey cotton or silk T-shirt was OK. I don't like button-up shirts because they never fit me right. They gap at the breast and poof up around the waist and make it disappear.

I think my next-door neighbour is a bit upset at missing Thanksgiving this year. Any ideas or Thanksgivingy type things I could do to cheer him up? Currently my only plan is the liberal application of alcohol.

Turkey sandwich, can of cranberry sauce, mash a spud. Maybe rent a football movie for him, like North Dallas Forty or The Longest Yard? Hum a few bars of Alison's Restaurant. Then watch Addams Family Values (it has the great Thanksgiving pageant scene) together while liberally drinking the alcohol.

Turkey sandwich, can of cranberry sauce, mash a spud.

Ooh! I think maybe I can do this. Eeeexcellent.

Hec gets to plan all my "Sorry, it's a bummer." holidays. Which, is, like most of them, sadly. How do you feel about being on retainer, bunky? Ooh! my traditional tag. Later...

I'm going to suggest cold-water thawing, as opposed to room-temp thawing. If you can change the water regularly, it's a lot safer than room-temp (bacteria issues). And cold-water thawing is faster than refrigerator thawing. You've got all of tonight to get the bird thawed. You can get a 20lb bird thawed in cold water in 8-10 hours.

edit

Butterball backs me up.

Be sure to thaw at room temperature instead of in the fridge. It'll take too long in the fridge.

I do the cold water soak thaw. Better with kitty and doggy around who will eat the turkey and then I'll have to take them to the hospital and I'll be pissy.

Dear Perkins,

For the love of all that is pretty and pink, it is EMPRESS'S ribbon, not Emperor. There is no Emperor.

And thank you for the gift in advance. You didn't have to.

Smoochies and hugsicles,

The Empress

Actually I did. JZ and MG can back me up on this-- it was just too cute and perfect for her not to buy.

I do the cold water soak thaw

That works. My mom was doing a fridge thaw and put her turkey in the fridge on Wednesday. As of Monday, it still wasn't thawed out.

Yeah, I shouldn't have put it in the freezer.