OK, I feel a bit awkward saying this, since I had this post all composed in my head
before
I came into the thread and read what Dylan said, but here goes anyway:
I know everyone who criticized my parenting yesterday was doing so with the best of intentions. That said, I don't think the tough love approach works on everyone--I don't think there's such a thing as a one-sized-fits-alll approach in general--and I think I'm one of the people for whom the tough love, yell at the person to get her attention technique does more harm than good. At least, I'm well on my way to my second day of being too upset to do anything beyond the basics of Annabel-care and me-care, and right now
I just can't afford that.
I've committed to having my manuscript in the mail to two
critical
places (an editor who requested it and the most important unpublished contest my genre has) by the middle of next week, and it's not quite ready yet. I can get it ready, but I need to be efficient and use my time well.
Maybe it's a flaw I need to work on in itself that I don't respond well to "tough love." Or maybe it's just the way I'm wired that that doesn't get through to me, while other approaches do. (What generally seems to work is being requested to take a few deep breaths, and once I've calmed down, appeals to logic. A still, small voice in the storm sort of thing.) But figuring that out, too, I think can wait a week or two until I get this manuscript in the mail!
So all I'm asking is for the space and support to help me get this one
critical
step toward fulfilling my dream of dreams done on time. I may not be a perfect mother, but I have a healthy, happy daughter, and I think figuring out if I'm doing this all wrong and need an intervention can take second place to that for now. Please. That's all I ask.
Ahhh. 1970s-era-ish. I have no musical knowledge of this time period other than Sesame Street albums, disco, and ABBA.
Susan, I can appreciate what you're saying. And I can appreciate dw's being upset on your behalf. However.
A) I was not coming at you with "tough love". I was coming at you from one mom to another.
B) I don't appreciate being spoken to the way your husband just spoke to everyone in this thread. I tried very hard yesterday to kkep my swearing to a minimum. I also thought that this was made up and settled. If not, fine. NO ONE in this thread deserves to be spoken to like that for ANY REASON. And you darn well know it.
A) I was not coming at you with "tough love". I was coming at you from one mom to another.
All I know is what it felt like on the receiving end.
B) I don't appreciate being spoken to the way your husband just spoke to everyone in this thread. I tried very hard yesterday to kkep my swearing to a minimum. I also thought that this was made up and settled. If not, fine. NO ONE in this thread deserves to be spoken to like that for ANY REASON. And you darn well know it.
I agree, but I don't think this is one of those cases where I should speak for him.
"Tusk" = Fleetwood Mac + USC marching band.
All I know is what it felt like on the receiving end.
Well, I can't help what you felt and/or feel. I apologized for my tone yesterday. I can't do anymore than that.
I agree, but I don't think this is one of those cases where I should speak for him.
Fine.
NO ONE in this thread deserves to be spoken to like that for ANY REASON.
It's not even a question of "deserves," it's a question of official board policy against personal attacks. I see the original post was deleted, but I still think an apology is in order.
Looks at thread title. Ummm, yeah.
(What generally seems to work is being requested to take a few deep breaths, and once I've calmed down, appeals to logic. A still, small voice in the storm sort of thing.)
I speak for myself, not for Aimee, or the thread.
What frustrates me is that, from my point of the transaction, nothing seems to work. We have a pattern going here. You show up very upset. We say "You're overreacting for the following factual and/or experience-based reasons." You say that the reasons you are upset are completely valid. Then you say that we are overreacting and making you feel piled-on. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I don't feel that anything I say is having any effect. Most of the time I bite my tongue.
