oh sure, now be nice. you won't even take my calls.

adding to my list of things that should never happen.

I was trying to explain this to former officemate. He thought I was being weird. But then, he met his wife when she worked here.

I have a matchmaking friend. She's finally learned to NOT try with me. You can tell she has to work really hard to restrain herself, though. It's funny.

Question time:

The DOCUMENT FROM HELL needs to be published on the web. The main body is nearly 2MB, the appendicies 5MB. I'm thinking I want to break the pieces up by chapter and offer them as individual PDFs. But I'm not sure anyone would want to download what would be 20 separate files.

So... 20 files? 20 files + 2 files (for main + append)? 1 big honking file?

What a great read, Allyson. Can't wait to walk into a bookstore and buy it to read the rest.

In my day, "jacked up" meant the rear end of your car was way higher than the front end.

The meaning remains similar here, but that's because we're a little redneck, and like our trucks on rilly rilly big-ass makes-the-cab-look-like-a-Tonka wheels.

So... 20 files? 20 files + 2 files (for main + append)? 1 big honking file?

Is the document aimed at folks likely to have broadband, or home users? I'd either do one big file, or split the main body and the appendix, so there's two. We once did a 10 MB catalog .pdf both as a single file and as chapters, and more people just downloaded the whole thing.

From the rumor story:

President Bush would elevate Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

t cue the bad German accent "Here? Und now??"

If there's any cross-referencing at all, go with the whole shebang approach. When I was on dialup, I could set a big download and go make coffee or something; but a lot of medium-sized downloads made me like, Is this really important? Can I get by with only one part?

I hear "jack" or "jack up" and think (a) home run and the enthusiasm spawned by same and (b) steroids. The car thing is a distant third. Perhaps I am thinking a bit provincially; FYI, I am unlikely to say either of these myself, but I watch enough ESPN that I have a tiny Steven A. Smith, like my own personal Satan, sitting on my shoulder.

Gollum as veep? Eep!

Speaking of people who may not always look human, the front page of Salon has a story on Joan Didion and next to the story a little thumbnail photograph. And I glanced at the photograph and thought, "What does an albino monkey have to do with Joan Didion?" And then I looked closer and realized that it was a b/w picture of Joan Didion.

But she totally looked like a cappucine monkey.

Is the document aimed at folks likely to have broadband, or home users?

Most of the users will be faculty, staff, and students, so they will be hooked into the gigabit backbone. So, honestly, a 7MB file shouldn't take more than a minute to download.

I'd either do one big file, or split the main body and the appendix, so there's two. We once did a 10 MB catalog .pdf both as a single file and as chapters, and more people just downloaded the whole thing.

Hmm. That'd work. And I can stick in bookmarks because I'm nice like that.