if you're not converting b/c of your own personal faith/relationship with God/spirituality, then you shouldn't be converting at all. It should be a blessing, not a burden, and I'd think that converting to a religion because you "have to," rather than *want* to, would be a burden.

I'm with you in the ideal case, but I think it often gets complicated in the case of marriage and children, and that isn't necessarily such a bad thing. I mean, being forced to do so is bad, no question. But I think not everyone (here I'm going to the general, not the D.Griswold topic at hand) experiences religion as a search for truth/relationship with God thing; for many people, I think, it is (within certain parameters) a matter of... practicality? I'm saying this wrong. I think I'm trying to describe a sort of combination of "Your people will be my people and your God my God," and "Oh, honey, God don't care which church you go, long as you show up!"

ETA: In fact, that may be the best description of the kind of religiosity I admire -- a cross between Ruth and Dolly Parton.

Yeah, but I'm disturbed we've heard so little of the Rubber Duckies. I fear they've secretly met with Miss Kitty Fantastico's fate.

They are on our bathtub ledge, and Eve aka Casper was playing with them when they came to visit a couple months ago!

Aw, Colin. He is the closest we have come to a pet. Really, he's more an elopement mascot.

Happy Anniversary, Nora & Tom!

AmyLiz, all the best to your friend and her son. It's heartbreaking.

Adorable Ellie!

D. Gris, I choose to believe that she is also thinking about how she might change her life to make one work with you, and that the two of you will find a place in which you are both comfortable.

Today a program starts here at the school, and if it flops, it's all on my head. I'm both excited and wishing I could hide under my desk.

They are on our bathtub ledge, and Eve aka Casper was playing with them when they came to visit a couple months ago!

If Eve comes for another visit, I'd keep an eye on her. Her crush on Tom might have been a diversion for a future Rubber Duckie caper.

Oh, Gris, when she gets settled again, -t converted to Judaism before her marriage, and it was at least part of the catalyst. I think they might be either Conservative or Reform, but she might prove a resource or sounding board for you. Just thought I'd mention it, before the thought disappears.

Gris, I don't think these are internetable answers.

Judaism has a great deal of debate and nuance within it. Talking to a Rabbi or a series of Rabbis is the only way you're going to find the answers to these questions -- and they may not be straight yes/no doctrinal answers even when you do find them.

This is a really good resource: [link] It's an inter-faith center for religious inquiry. I'm acquainted with the clergy in charge of it (a rabbi and an episcopal priest). They would be very able to help you research these things.

I could find Orthodox churches / Rabbies that would convert me without forcing me to dress in a suit or avoid looking at bikini-clad women.

There are certainly flavors of Orthodoxy that don't have the Eastern European Lubavitcher baggage. However, I think any Orthodox rabbi is going to expect you to obey the laws of kashrut and of "family purity" (sexual abstinence for a week after menstruation.)

We really need Nilly here.

Let's say some wonderful person just brought you a care package filled with Lush products. There are so many you have to store some of them away for later use. Do you store them in just a drawer? Or do they have to go in the fridge?

I thought you lot might know the answer.

if you're not converting b/c of your own personal faith/relationship with God/spirituality, then you shouldn't be converting at all

I've wondered about that ... thinking that if I'm a born adherent to a faith, it'd be weird and strange to have my boyfriend convert just so he could marry me, or just so we could have a church wedding, or whatever. But I have no faith, so it's unlikely to come up for me.

In totally mememe news, I just heard a friend of mine had her baby seven weeks early after unexpected pre-eclampsia -- 3 lbs. something, and in the NICU, but doing fine so far. So scary.

And my brother and his wife are expecting again, which is very good news. I'm thrilled, as are they, although I don't know how SiL is going to manage -- my brother is in the navy and going out to sea for six months November 4. He'll be back in early May, and she's due in June.

Today a program starts here at the school, and if it flops, it's all on my head. I'm both excited and wishing I could hide under my desk.

Program ~ma! I bet it's an unqualified success.