The Insomnia Fairies are Kobolds in drag. Fuckers.

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That would keep me up nights, too.

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I'm saying!

Okay. Am going to attempt the horizontal-in-a-dark-room thing again. Hopefully I can fend off the Insomnia Orcs.

t edit Sweet -- look at the timestamp of my post!

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Night Steph!

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I don't suffer from insomnia, but I have the misfortune of being married to someone who does...recently complicated by a baby who had quit sleeping through the night. So last night I had to listen to R discuss why multiplying two negative number gives a positive number (among other things, but I don't remember anything else, other than offering to hold a pillow over his face around 1:30). Then Mallory woke up at 4:00 and stayed up until 5:00, then woke up again at 6:30 and started in on the "Hello? Anyone there? I could be learning something right now. Developmental window closing, people!"

Gronk.

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I'm at the parents finally. I finally caved and, on the way here from the hospital, bought a toothbrush, deo and such to just live here since I have stayed here more in the last month than the previous three years. And jammies and a change of clothes will be put into the car to move here if I ever do get home.

My grandma seriously broke her hip and is, off and on, in the kind of agony I never thought possible. But she is hooked up to a morphine drip now and so it should be under control-ish now.

Surgery tomorrow, tenatively in the late afternoon so I will go there on my lunch and then again after work. Pins, hip replacement, it's a mystery.

Also she didn't hit her head. And for the amount of painkillers, remarkably lucid. In between the pain we had about five hours of lovely, though slightly rambling, conversation.

I am exhausted and need a shower. And a drink but that's not happening. So shower it is.

I don't want her to die, but I'd like it to be over. Which I guess means I do.

((Emily)) I think I know how you feel. When I have had loved ones or relatives that are terminal, I've not wanted them to leave but also not wanted them to linger. I have no idea if I am making a damn bit of sense anymore but I have been thinking about you.

She may find venting makes her feel better and she might start to thaw. IF she doesn't, a friendship of such long-standing seems worth more than one email to repair it.

Robin is very wise. It's worth trying if you miss her. You could end up closer than ever, your friendship could change or she might end up distancing herself but it is worth it to at least try.

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Cass, glad that things are looking up for your grandmother.

connie, is there maybe something else going on with your friend? It seems odd that in a 30-year friendship she'd make inaccurate assumptions. It's definitely worth trying to save.

Emily, we just went through the same thing with the DH's grandfather. I totally understand how you are feeling.

I'm serious, the universe needs to go hassle someone else.

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Thanks, Raq. I am hopeful too.

It's a long recovery and she's so weak bodywise. Mentally I'm shocked she didn't try to get up and walk it off. Which she might have done if she weren't in screaming agony with a busted hip.

So the parts of the recovery that take determination and perseverance, she's got in spades. The parts that require having some muscle strength are going to be harder.

Her mind is still sharp. When I made her dinner maybe a month ago, I bought a bottle of wine and she didn't have a corkscrew. But she got the bottle open using a variety of tools. Best glass of wine I'd ever had because of the fun we had while she attacked that bottle and conquered it.

I need some sleep now. More than I realize likely. Thank you all for the support tonight. It was a long, rough night.

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Emily, I am so sorry. Strength and peace to you all.

Oh Cass, your poor grandmother, too. I hope her surgery goes well and that she recovers quickly and easily.

Does the universe really need to be taking it out on the Nanas? Sheeesh.

Connie, I think a 30 year friendship is (generally) worth fighting for, and worth facing rejection for. And I think it is worth taking on more than your fair share of the fix-it tasks, too. If your friend misread you a year ago, and was hurt all that time (through no fault of yours--you just didn't get that she didn't understand), she might not be able to fight for it. If you don't fight for it, you're going to lose the friend. If you do fight for it, you might win, and you might lose, but you won't be sitting around in ten years, regretting that you didn't try.

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Oh, dear. Not a good night around here. I'm so sorry, everyone. Hugs all around.

I'm at school VERY early this morning, because I went to introduce myself to the class I'll be tutoring for. I am exhausted.

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