Ooh, wouldn't that be fun?! I think I'd kick her ass. Nope, as long as I talk about abstinence in conjunction with contras and STD's (and as long as I have a permission slip from the parents) I am fine. I even did the condom and banana thing.

The girls are lucky to have you. How old are the two that are pregnant? Are they far along?

Go, Erin!

I feel like someone put slugs in my sinuses while I was sleeping last night.

The Slug Fairy visited me as well. That bitch.

What, did you two forget to put gold coins under your pillows? This is the traditional bribe for the Slug Fairy.

What, did you two forget to put gold coins under your pillows? This is the traditional bribe for the Slug Fairy.

Or else you can pour a circle of salt around your bed.

What, did you two forget to put gold coins under your pillows? This is the traditional bribe for the Slug Fairy.

I usually go with salt tablets under the pillow instead. It's not a bribe per se. More of a warning shot.

Sure, now you tell me.

Oh, also, in more good news for the day, I met with my TA to go over my lab report, and I only had two little problems (that wouldn't have lost me many points). But, now they're fixed, so I'll get full credit. Yay!

Yay vw! You clearly rocked that paper.

Perkins, try placing a pint glass full of beer under your nose (like in the vicinity of your mouth). Slugs like beer, and this should lure them out. Alternatively, drink the beer until you can't feel the slugs anymore.

Amazing myths these kids believe.

Hey, I clearly remember the sex ed instructors telling us in 9th grade that douching after intercourse was an effective means of birth control.

Bah. I am crazy behind on, like, everything, and my brain is all a jumble of worries and vibes for Teppy and Cash and Cass and their families, awe at vw's powers of A+itude (awe and bedazzlement, but no actual surprise), dedness of the cute babies who have been popping up over the last few aeons since I last posted, and delight that Daniel and Andi went to a Renaissance Faire (though sad it wasn't mine).

Also, so very exhausted.

Also also, not meaning to hijack the thread with yet another name discussion, but I need to vent for just a second because the stupid, it burns:

If Bay Area parents don't get a grip and start naming their children with actual names, I am going to go all bureaucratzilla on them and cram a French-style Board of Name Approval down everyone's throats. The most recent offenders:

• The parents of a boy named Myra

• The parents of a boy named Coddy, pronounced Cody, who will get to spend many, many decades spelling his name and correcting and correcting and correcting everyone while hating his parents for saddling him with an extra D that turned his name from a short sweet boyname to something indicating that he apparently resembles a whitefish

• The parents of a girl named Jewelianna, pronounced Julianna

On behalf of their children, I hate them all. Though it may be just that I'm in a mood lately.

::likes Jewelianna::

The parents of a boy named Coddy, pronounced Cody

Oh dear. I'm trying to decide which is worse, this or the boy named Myra, and cannot for the life of me come to a conclusion. They both are huge with the suckitude.