Gronk.
Skipped/skimmed a bunch of posts. I think I had something to say in response to someone, but I can't remember it.
Also, I've had heartburn and felt generally blah since yesterday. I'm going with the "Rolaids make it feel a tiny bit better, therefore it's nothing to worry about" theory, but I'm just three years younger than my mother was when she started getting angina, and I almost never get heartburn. So, tiny bit worried, even though I know it's probably OK.
Trying to decide what to have for dinner. My plan was spaghetti, but I'm not yet feeling energetic enough to actually make it.
Me sick. Me sick for past 2 days. Back-to-school death virus which strike all kindergarten parent. Me not mention, because at this point is embarrassing. Feel like Munchausenlike person.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Am broke. Go to ATM. Apparently can't remember password. Is fairly new. Password assigned by card issuer. Just used successfully last week, and ripped up and threw out paper with password on it. Don't use much, because broke. Don't use enough to remember.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
When pick up Chris--see street & sidewalks all torn up for resurfacing, so drive up to school to pick up Ben & Julia. Julia get in car, carrying plastic case with air holes. Julia is frigging pet person. Julia must buy crickets to feed to class lizard, because Julia no longer in first grade. Julia starring in Mutual of Omaha's Wild Frigging Kingdom.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Go to ATM
at
main office of own bank. Only smart thing me do, all day. Try what am sure is password. Am wrong. Try other sure-fire combination. Machine eat card. Cannot tell machine, "Eat me, too," as children in car.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Go in bank. Children mistake bank for gymnasium. Post-modern children no go to bank. Post-modern children sit in car seats while momma use drive up ATM. Momma stupid but not crazy. Yet.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Nice bank lady say if card issued by bank, they get card out for me, reset password. Need driver's license. Me have last two driver's licenses. Me even still have temporary driver's license. Me no can find current driver's license in rattrap of purse.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Children all over bank. Me hush them good. Me glare. Me hiss. Nice bank lady even remember me from when me and husband boy open account, but cannot get me card without i.d.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Go to get key out of purse so me can leave, to go home and cry. Find license. IS MIRACLE!!!
Nobody send money for miracle, anyhow.
Nice lady give card over. Take me to magic password re-set machine. Magic password re-set machine won't accept password.
Don't send money. Is not hoax.
Nice lady finally tell me password can ONLY be X digits/letters long, no shorter, no longer. Me make up new password so easy all thieves already know it.
Me check card in inside ATM right in bank, and me get money.
YAY.
Me drive to pet store to buy crickets to be victimized by classroom lizard. PET STORE CLOSED.
Me drive two towns over out to Route 1 to big ass pet store. Did me mention me hate animals? Me have sneezing fit in pet store, because pet store stinky, me sick and allergic. We walk in store. Youngest child has to go pee. Me tell him, "Hold it."
Me tell not nearly as nice pet store lady, "Hi, we need to buy sacrificial crickets, to appease the great and powerful first grade lizard god."
Lady no laugh. Lady bad. Bunnies pretty. Lady point us to aquarium section. Nice pet boy get us crickets. What kind of crickets we want? Me say, "There are kinds? We want the kinds you sacrifice to appease the great and powerful first grade lizard god." Nice boy laugh, and say, "Small." Nice pet boy ask how many crickets we want? We no know. Me say, "Two or three dozen."
Nice boy come out with plastic bag full of crickets. We drive home. Me have headache already. Me driving west with no sunglasses. Make futile stop at school on off chance teacher is still there, will not have to keep crickets in house. Teacher not there. Get to house. Youngest child says, "Oh oh. I peed my pants."
Don't send money. Is not hoax. Don't send dry pants. Was really more of drip incident. Me tell child handle on his own.
Leave crickets in bag and case on porch. Go in. Mother calls. Think she'll come stay with us, because doesn't want to stay in cottage other night alone. Me reading mail as mother talk. Me get notice from town that car has to be out of driveway and (continued...)
( continues...) off of street by 7:00am tomorrow, if want to use car, because street to be resurfaced. Me tell mother me sick, and about car situation. Mother say she'll stay at her sister's. Me say she can come here, but maybe happier at sister's.
Me have very traumatic time transferring crickets from tied-shut plastic bag into case. Me hate bugs.
Me call mother back, to make clear mother welcome here. Mother didn't think was welcome here. Mother crying.
Me die now. Don't send money. Is not hoax.
How about send laugh?
edit: which came out very, very wrong. Decidedly not meant in an "at you" kind of way.
Oh, you poor thing.
{{{Cindy}}}
Sending chocolate and cake and magic crickets you don't have to touch, as well as dry pants, magic ATM cards with unforgettable passwords, and more chocolate. And flowers for your mom. (Unless they make you sneeze, in which case she'll have to make do with chocolate.)
Poor bizarro Cindy.
I think I'll send her some money.
How about send laugh?
edit: which came out very, very wrong. Decidedly not meant in an "at you" kind of way.
At. With. Whatever.
Sending chocolate and cake and magic crickets you don't have to touch, as well as dry pants, magic ATM cards with unforgettable passwords, and more chocolate. And flowers for your mom. (Unless they make you sneeze, in which case she'll have to make do with chocolate.)
sniff
You understand me, so well.
I'm just ground down from being sick and/or injured for two months solid. Enough is enough. Everything has been relatively petty, and even Scott's Lyme seems on the mend. I'm just fed up. In a ground down way.
I'm just fed up. In a ground down way.
Right there with you, babe.
Cabana boys! I *knew* I forgot something!
