I think he'll be okay. He's pretty grabby himself on the playground and used to lots of rough play with his friends.

Yeah, Ben is like that, too. I don't consider that ungentle, because there's nothing mean behind it. There's youth, and vigor, goofiness, and excitement, and poor self-control behind it maybe, but no malice.

But it wasn't like that. Emmett's never been in a fight, and this was definitely aggressive behavior, not play.

Yeah, and screw them. That's what happened with the boy who punched Ben. It just *turned* instantly.

job~ma to Trudy.

The violent children issue reminds me that I have a parenting question: Annabel, while normally still a sunny-natured child, throws the occasional mini-tantrum when her will is thwarted. In particular, if I have to pick her up to keep her from committing some self- or property-destructive act, she'll yell and grab hard at whatever comes to hand--which means yanking my glasses off or pulling my hair. I've been dealing with this by prying her hand free and telling her in a sharp, firm, but controlled voice that We. Do. Not. Pull. Hair.

Is this good enough? I'm not freaked out by the mere fact that she has a temper and/or violent impulses. I mean, she's my daughter and I have plenty of both. But I don't want her to turn into a playground terror once she's in daycare and/or school.

This is normal. You are doing the right thing.

I think we all have violent impulses, Susan. Just the fact that she does that doesn't mean you did anything wrong, but I wouldn't know whatto do or anything.

Sounds pretty normal to me.

Leif is so cute when he gets mad. The funniest thing is when he gets mad and gives himself a time out because he doesn't completely get the concept.

Oh, I meant it when I said it doesn't bother me that she has violent impulses. My earnest liberal granola parent side expresses itself in wanting to keep her away from Barbies--water pistols, toy swords, etc. are just fine in my book. But I still haven't settled on any kind of parenting philosophy WRT discipline, so I want to make sure my instinctive impulses are neither too lax nor too harsh.

That's just normal tantrum stuff, Susan. You can expect more of it in the next year. Probably a lot more.

Again, I know she's normal--I just wanted to make sure I'm not being too harsh or too lax in my response.

I just wanted to make sure I'm not being too harsh or too lax in my response.

Nope, that's fine. But you might want to discuss your discipline philosophy/stratgegy with Dylan, because it's probably going to be an issue. Willful children who don't like to be thwarted tend to have tantrums. (My experience with Emmett anyway.)

Annabel strikes me as the kind of child who knows what she wants.

Thanks for the ~ma guys.

Tantrums! Today on the bus a, oh, two or three year old was having a screaming fit. Piercing. Her poor mother (who had another munchkin in her lap)! People in the bus started to "shush" the girl (not in a nasty way) and the Mom pounced on it "see, you need to stop screaming, they're saying 'shush'" and it WORKED. She'd get a little worked up again and people would chime in. It was so clear that she was just frustrated and out of control and the distraction helped her break out of that cycle -- and the Mom was so smart to just roll with it. It was such a neat New Yorky moment.

IS anyone gathering flower money for Polgara? This is unbelievable and horrid.