Could you maybe negotiate with the sentient mold? Give it twenty-four hours to leave on its own volition or you'll come back with bleach?

The sentient mold refused to negotiate. In fact, it made insulting comments about my parentage, so it is now trapped under paper towels soaked in full-strength bleach.

A few observations:

(1) You can call it "fresh rain" scent bleach, but that doesn't make it smell like anything other than a gigantic bucket of pool chemicals.

(2) Perhaps I should have purchased rubber gloves, or at least made sure there were no cuts on my hands.

(2a) But I know those cuts aren't infected, boy howdy.

(3) Breathing in bleach fumes can't possibly be good for the continued survival of my brain cells.

Update in 20 minutes or so, after the mold has had a chance to stew in the bleach.

In the meantime, I'm trying to vent the noxious gases without making myself sick. I'm beginning to think flames would have been a better plan.

Teppy, I think that only the original scent of bleach disinfects.

From the Clorox site: [link]

Hmm. I see the good people at Clorox say "Only Clorox® Regular-Bleach is EPA Registered for sanitization and disinfection."

So....nobody rat me out to the EPA, okay? I figure bleach is bleach, and "fresh rain" is what was in the closet. If the sentient mold succumbs to it, I'm okay with that.

t edit I don't mean that to be snippy; I'm just a rebel when it comes to bleach, I guess.

I think they're using "regular" to differentiate between the chlorine bleach and the Clorox II. If your poofy flowery Clorox is chlorine bleach, you're disinfecting, even while you kill brain cells.

Oh, it's chlorine bleach.

Score: Teppy 1; sentient mold 0.25.

Why was it not a complete win for poor Teppy? Because the mold has gotten *under* the caulk around the tub, and so it *looks* all grimy and grey. But all external mold -- GONE.

In celebration, I am eating a turkey sandwich and really excellent mozzerella caprese.

I forgot how bleach destroys my fingernails. Bah.

Allyson, I wish I were down there, too. Not only would I have my Boxes of Makeup from Hell and the ability to have fun making you even prettier, I'd be FAR AWAY FROM HERE, where I am right this moment dealing with a poop blowout from hell.

Also, I'm going to go on record as saying holy carp, I fucking hate budgets. Esp. when they have to cover everything--food, gas, household goods--not just purchases for self. There are few things more depressing than putting back something you probably need at Goodwill because you can't justify the five bucks. I am now irrationally cranky and wanting to throw things, but first I have to finish cleaning up the baby-made mess, and then do laundry, so by the time I have a chance to be RAGE WOMAN, I'll be too wiped out.

And I'm tempted to just delete this, because I'm so cranky right now, I'm even annoying myself.

Right. Happy thoughts.

Allyson, try a brightish lip (maybe a cool mid-to-deep plum) and a subtle eye. Think a pale shadow, but a lot of lash, especially upper lashes. Don't go too heavy on the lower lashes, and make sure to curl those uppers, and concentrate on the length at the outer corners. I'd suggest adding a couple of those false bunches to the outer corners, but I'm utter crap at putting them on, so unless it's something you can do blindfolded, just go with the mascara option.

so by the time I have a chance to be RAGE WOMAN, I'll be too wiped out.

OMG, Plei, I could kiss you for putting that into words.

Also, I'm going to go on record as saying holy carp, I fucking hate budgets.

They really suck. You should just be able to enjoy new-mommyhood and not stress over every penny.

unless it's something you can do blindfolded

Embrace the irony.