Also, no, "I don't agree to things like this over the phone" is not satisfied by "You'll have thirty days to cancel."

My mother's standard, "I don't respond to telephone solicitations," is followed by her hanging up the phone, immediately. I've tried it, but I get flustered, and can't get out the word solicitations. It all comes out like, "I don't--I respond, not don't not, solicitiaaa. I don't respond to um telephone solicit..." and then I hang up.

Geez, Emily. I usually just say, slowly and clearly (even while they're speaking) "I do not respond to phone solicitations" and hang up. Or if I'm in the mood, I'll try to throw them off script with questions like, "Do you have to get me to refuse you three times in order to earn your money for this call?" and so on.

I have also grabbed the nearest printed item and started reading it out loud until they hang up. You can have such fun with phone solicitors.

I just always feel so bad for them. Like I should be polite. I know that's an irrational response, but I can't shake it!

I'm a little charmed at the notion of having to refuse three times. Like an incantation, or something. If I still got telemarketing calls, I think the amusement might overtake the irritation.

Geez, Emily. I usually just say, slowly and clearly (even while they're speaking) "I do not respond to phone solicitations" and hang up. Or if I'm in the mood, I'll try to throw them off script with questions like, "Do you have to get me to refuse you three times in order to earn your money for this call?" and so on.

I am an antisocial crank and rarely pick up the phone. Now that I have caller ID I don't have to subject my friends and family to leaving a message on the machine before I pick up for them though.

I just never answer the phone if I don't recognize the number. I think I need to update my cell phone message explaining this and strongly recommending leaving a message so I can get back to them.

I don't want to make life harder for someone who's got a job in telemarketing, I mean, it's not like that's anyone's dream job, unless they're a total passive agressive bottom. I just try to make it clear that it's pointless to try sell me anything, like by saying I could only pay in chickens.

Geez, Emily. I usually just say, slowly and clearly (even while they're speaking) "I do not respond to phone solicitations" and hang up.

Mom swears my brother and I loved canned beets when we were kids. I have vague memories of looking forward to beets so I guess she's right.

Currently I'm fond of golden beets, baked and then tossed with a bit of vinegarette.

I just never answer the phone if I don't recognize the number.

I do this too, but this number had been calling for a solid month. There was clearly no other way to get them to go away.

Show off

It's not my fault I inherited my Mom's Phone Voice. She could go 0-60 from cursing out us kids to sounding like Park Avenue if one of her friends called.