I'm leaving right now AIFG!

My uncle used to take us out in the cab of his tractor all the time. And my cousins (his kids) were put to work riding beans.

The first time I ever drove (not counting the tractor incident) was when the eldest of the cousins took me and another my age out on to the farm roads and let us drive her future-mother-in-law's brand new stationwagon. I was 11. I still can't believe she did that, considering she's not a risktaker or anything.

Dad used to take us out to the property the family owned -- acres and acres of woods. We'd run around and go hiking, have picnics. We'd get on the hood of the car (a 1970ish Ford LTD complete whale of a car) and he'd drive us around while we lay there.

My first used car was a '73 LTD--the Big Blue Boat, I called it. Great car.

Other than the times my dad would let me lean over and steer while he worked the pedals, my first driving experience was the summer before I turned 16, when my sister took me out on the rural roads near our house to get the hang of rudimentary driving skills. Worse than that was the afternoon seven years later, when she took me driving around Mom's condo complex trying to teach me how to drive stick. I can get it out of first with some practice, but I still have problems doing so on an incline (not an issue here in Chicago).

My dad would have me take the wheel while he drove so he could do stuff like put on a jacket or something. And once when I was about 9 he had me take the wheel of the combine while he walked nearby to check something out. I started overcontrolling and weaving back and forth - the combine had rear-wheel steering, which is just weird to drive.

Until recently my parents would always buy big-ass Fords and Mercurys, so that's where I got it from.

I learned to drive in a Dodge Omni O24 with a four speed manual. Also, it was my first car. It was not exactly reliable, but it could carry seven in a pinch.

Poor smoking monkey. [link]

We need some of those Truth ads aimed at monkeys.

Zero-g airplane flights, only $3750. [link]

The flights last about two hours. During that time, the plane performs about 15 parabolas or arcs that provide varying degrees of weightlessness that last about 30 seconds each.

Flights take off from Orlando and Titusville.

I think that I'll have to do this at some point in my life....

We need some of those Truth ads aimed at monkeys.

Pretty close.