Bacon-haters, look away

I am having a hermity Friday too. I think going ot bed early might be the highlight.

Er... wouldn't you have put at least one other option in there? I mean, there's a pretty big city somewhere in Massachusetts, what's that called...

Worcester?

That's funny, only because I think of you as much sexually freer (in attitude) than I am or than I would want to be. I think sex works better in concert with love.

This is a common misconception of the happily married. (Glib. Sorry. Just joking.)

Or....

Maybe you haven't had enough hateful sex yet. (Also a joke, yet perhaps closer to my true feelings on the matter.) With no glib whatsoever - in my experience deeply in love sex has not been as intense as some other less warm, less uh...conventionally intimate kinds of sex.

But what I'm trying to do is sever romantic love from the physical attraction equation. It's a whole different vibe.

I'm sort of a monist on these things and I think I'm arguing that if this distinction between love and sex isn't exactly a false one, then it's a muddier one than most of our cultural compasses can accurately gauge.

I need to ponder it mo' deeply.

How is that Paulist? I'm not getting the reference.

St. Paul the party-pooper. Mr. Don't-Invite-Him-To-The-Orgy.

Really?

See above. More of a comment on my sense that most of our definitions are fubar/wrong/pathological.

Because seeing someone with a cute butt on the street and thinking "Break me off a piece of THAT" isn't love.

It seems that I am arguing a couple things: (1) I don't trust the USian/Western taxonomies of "love" in all its varieties; (2) that the Greek notions of Eros, Agape, Fraternal Love (Frappe?) seem more accurate to me. And Eros is a kind of love and it is about cute butts on the street.

That our culture has idealized courtly love and limerance and soul mate-itude (to name but a few flavors) - and I think those are all dangerously ill formed hooks for hanging Big Love (pairing-off love) on. That there isn't enough acknowledgement of the biological imperative underlying it.

I'm not certain of that, but I do think that a lot of human behavior around love and sex is driven by things which are primarily physical and then explained off with after the fact with whatever moral filter we have handy.

I'm not trying to be reductive or cynical about love. I just think that our cultural understanding of the phenomenon (no matter how we parse it) is inadequate to the point of being unuseful or even psychologically dangerous.

I disagree, if what you're saying is that love is some kind of masked sexual attraction. And if not, please clarify.

It's more that I'm saying that putting sexual attraction and love in separate boxes winds up creating more confusion than anything. That however we're dividing that complex of feeling is false and misleading.

eta: have the feeling that I probably stated everything at least twice in that post. Might need to excise.

I'm getting out of work here in about 20 minutes or so, going to the grocery store and then home, where I will either veg out in front of the tv, or finally get around to finishing my apartment cleaning by weeding out and organizing my big closet (organized the linen closet last week, and managed to clean out more than 2/3rds of the crap that had accummulated in it!). Other than replacing my mattress pad, it's the last thing that has to be done to have my apartment completely clean and organized, so finishing it will be a big deal.

Fraternal Love (Frappe?)

Philia, I believe.

I wanted to see the original post that Hec is responding to so I did a search for "sex," which is less than the four-letter minimum. It seems wrong, somehow, that one can't search for "sex" on the porny Phoenix board.

I have enought mac and cheese to feed an army ( at least 12) there are only two of us. I can't seem to make a small amount. This batch has ham, spinach, 5 or 6 cheeses, and fresh basil. I am envisioning serving it with fresh died tomatoes spinkled on top. Anyone need dinner?

Anyone need dinner?

Oh my, that sounds good.

I wanted to see the original post that Hec is responding to so I did a search for "sex," which is less than the four-letter minimum.

Yeah, you can't search for ita or Hec or Oz either.