It's not being supported by a man, so much as being supported by your spouse. Which has no inherent evil to it -- you did marry the guy, after all.

Yes, this. I don't consider the word "support" to be derogatory. Nor do I want to martyr myself over the year I spent working third shift at a craft magazine sweatshop for $6/hour, paying our rent & car payment while DH finished up his last year of college.

I think it's always great when a couple can work out a situation that is mutually beneficial and makes their lives easier. We always had it rougher when we were both working full time and coming home too tired to clean or get anything done around the house and we always felt like we were shortchanging each other.

Just when I think things can't get more wedding-zilla, Aimee has another story.

Jebus Dawg what a self-absorbed twit. I'm sorry, I can't be more generous at this point.

I like my drama on the movie or teevee screen, thanks.

Aimee, this is funny as hell.

Obnoxious, truly, but one of the funniest things EVAH. It's like ultimate fighting cage match improv with B trying to 'yes and' every bride stereotype known to MAN.

Aimee, send it to etiquettehell.com.

I'm feeling a little less crazy today, BTW. Taking a half hour last night to clear off the shelf behind the sofa helped a lot. Now I'm just trying to teach her that it's OK to climb onto sofas, but not onto their backs. It's still more stressful than pre-climbing--I feel like I need to put her in the playpen if I want to leave the room even for a few seconds--but I'm no longer feeling like I can't so much as read or surf the internet for needing to watch her like a hawk.

A couple of hivemind questions re: looking for a job and going back to work:

1. I've decided that if I don't otherwise have a job by mid-October, I'm going to start temping. I won't be making piles of money over the costs of daycare and the extra clothes/travel/food expenses of working, but it'll be something, and maybe it'll be easier to find a job while working than not. I should probably go ahead and work on Annabel's daycare arrangements, huh? But what happens if I don't have temp work right away? Will I lose my place if I don't put her in the center? I won't have the money for it until I have the work.

2. In the past I've always managed to find work without having to do icky networking or all the pushy stuff the job search books advise--I've managed to get in on the strength of my application and my skills. But I still haven't gotten any interviews this time around. I've mostly just been submitting applications through the UW HR website, without doing personal followup, because I don't want to be the pushy, obnoxious applicant. But now I'm wondering if I need to. I did go as far as to ask Good!Former Boss if he knew the person I'd be working for at a job I applied for yesterday and would be willing to speak for me. He didn't, but said to feel free to have him call him. So. As soon as I'm sure HR has forwarded my resume to the department, should I email my potential employer to reiterate my interest and suggest he call GFB to find out what a great little UW lower-level professional staff administrator/project manager type I am, or will that just increase the odds against me by making me look pushy and obnoxious?

I don't know why I'm perfectly comfortable doing networky stuff when it's my writing on the line, but hate it for a job search.

She said as much. She doesn't want us bitching about her to each other.

So she sets it up that you bitch to people who now hate her, even though they've never met her. And this is better how?

Longer journey to bitchslap the bride and MoH.

Aimée, if I could figure out a way to appear at the wedding for you, I would. Imagine the look on Bridezilla's face when I turned up and said "Oh, Aimée couldn't make it. I'm her stunt double."

I should probably go ahead and work on Annabel's daycare arrangements, huh? But what happens if I don't have temp work right away? Will I lose my place if I don't put her in the center? I won't have the money for it until I have the work.

It takes time to find daycare for a baby; you should start now. Most places have waiting lists anyway; when you get to the top, they'll call you and if you don't need the space, they'll give it to somebody else.

Susan , send the follow up email. It is the easy follow up/networking thing to do.

honestly, the only thing that can really hurt is the non-proffessional type stuff. As in the cover letter of one applicant to my old library that had this sentence in it:

I LOOOVE BOOOOOOOOOOKS!