Beautiful awareness ND. Good on ya. And bless them for growing too.

MoH DOESN'T PAY FOR ANYTHING?

Well, she has to pay for her airfare.

t makes gaging motion

My poor future- SIL has already started stressing a bit about wedding planning. Some of her distant relatives she doesn't like (they are mean to her Mom) are trying to invite themselves to the wedding. Her sister is trying to convince her to have it at a family farm.

My brother's joked that they'll make a website with a Wedding Stress o Meter with a red zone. As soon as the meter hits the red zone they'll elope. All guests and family members will be encouraged to check the Stressometer to see how close they are to causing an elopment.

At least I think he was joking.

She's probably just using frequent flier miles.

MoH DOESN'T PAY FOR ANYTHING?

Well, she has to pay for her airfare.

I'm still boggling at this. She "hosts" a party that other people have to pay for while SHE PAYS NOTHING? Do the other unfortunate party-invitees know this?

At least I think he was joking.

Wedding gift -- visit to your place. Call courthouse, schedule appointment with judge. Couple marries at courthouse.

Of course, this doesn't work if couple lives locally.

I'm still boggling at this. She "hosts" a party that other people have to pay for while SHE PAYS NOTHING? Do the other unfortunate party-invitees know this?

I doubt it. With the exception of 2 other invitees (the tenants I sopke of earlier), everyone else is in the "well off" category and probably wouldn't care.

I figure, this is better than the "Spa Trip" it was supposed to be where everyone paid for their own treatments.

My Kung Fu school had a beach party, and I met the (white) girlfriend of one of the (Indian) instructors. I mentioned something about having a friend who was struggling with similar. The girlfriend said something about his family not being as traditional (I believe the phrase second-generation may have been thrown in), but she still seemed kinda uncomfortable (actually made me wonder if I may have accidentally trod upon toes). Anyway, umm, thought of you this weekend.

Aaah, yeeps. I hope those crazy kids work it out.

And ouch, ND. Mine is a scene in our kitchen at home, in which I mention that I love to write, and my mom says that's okay, I can still write as a hobby, and my dad says, and I will never forget, "You're not going to waste your brain with writing!"

From the wedding etiquette site:

How do I tell the guests that their share of the shower gift is $20?

You can't. People do not like to be told what to do with their money. Doing so is very rude.

Damn skippy!

Thanks folks, but this is all long since gone and has been worked out.

Oh, I'm not mad for you. Well, I'm mad for you then. Not you now. I'm just mad in general! Go on, give me more! The righteous fury is quite cleansing!

Aimee, at this point, I'd seriously just send an email to MOH and Bride and simply say "I'm sorry, it looks like I can't make it. Have a great time!"

There's nothing to be gained here by trying to talk some sane into MOH. She's obviously not hearing. I don't see any way going will be anything but unpleasant, even, maybe especially, if you still go ahead with the driving thing. Because you know Bride and others will exert all kinds of pressure to make you stay, and offer to pay, and whatever you do, it'll be a thing.

I think you need to focus on getting through this wedding with as little stress and incovenience to you as possible. Maybe this friendship will have legs, post wedding, maybe not. But for now I think you need to just take two steps back and let them be crazy on their own time. Not to mention dime.

My brother's joked that they'll make a website with a Wedding Stress o Meter with a red zone. As soon as the meter hits the red zone they'll elope. All guests and family members will be encouraged to check the Stressometer to see how close they are to causing an elopment.

I love this!