I was hoping for something else.

But only because I don't watch Lost.

Sail! Yesterday's tornadoes were on ABCs National News.

The main thrust of the story seemed to be, "Why didn't more people die?"

skip skip skip skim

"I will resist your cephalopodian wiles."

...You do know that there are Harry Potter fanficcers who write squidslash, yes?

Aaaand let's talk about me.

I'd appreciate your input on the following letter, before I email it back to the travel agency that sent it, and cc the guy at NewEmployer with whom I have had erratic email contact, and the Bill Gates figure at the NewPlace.

Now I do understand why my travel arrangements are low down on the To Do list for the company, what with the whole OhShitWeCan'tOpenUpTheSchoolForAnotherTwelveMonths horror that they're experiencing. I understand that. But you know what? Not. My. Fault.

I've calmed down quite a lot now that I've had a hot bath and read a lot of Guy Gavriel Kay, but I'm still ready to spill blood.

...oh, fucking marvellous. And now gmail refuses to let me cut and paste the body of the text. Fine. Fucking BRILLIANT. Thanks for that, universe. 'Cause I need a little more shit to land on me.

Right. Fine. Let me sum up: I've been waiting to hear about travel details for two months. My flatmate was given HER travel details in mid June. I wasn't. No explanation, but I wasn't worried, and I just waited patiently. I've been asking my NewEmployers, politely, for travel info for the past month. I've been getting increasingly emphatic as time has passed. Eventually I got a telephone call, after I finally sent a decidedly terse letter and cc'd the Bill Gates figure of the company in on it. The phone call was from a Very Important Minion/BigCheese, and I was alerted to it by his son emailing me to ask for my home phone number. The phone call, which I'd been expecting to deal with travel arrangements, was actually informing me of the whole "Whoops we can't open" scenario, and the following day I got an official letter from the Bill Gates figure.

So, SonOfBigCheese emailed me, asking for my phone number. Upon that basis I figured that his email address was likely my best bet as a means of communicating. I've not been nagging the Bill Gates guy about my travel arrangements, because I do understand that it's not exactly his top priority right now. Instead I've been emailing SonOfBigCheese. No answer so far.

Now my problem is this: I'd expected to return to Egypt in early August. This was my wish. But having had no contact from the travel agency, I was unable to express this wish. I'd hoped to be back in Egypt (where I left my cat alone in the flat on July 26th, with the maid popping in to feed him 3 days a week, insh'allah, and leaving masses of biscuits for him to nibble at in the interim [which should be fine, 'cause he doesn't wolf through the whole pile of biscuits and then wait for more, he nibbles at it gradually]) in time for my birthday, on August 20th. (Oooh! Now, in fact, here in Britain! I'm 32! Shit!) Obviously, that ain't happening.

So, making the best of this whole still-hanging-around-in-the-UK business, I bid for, and won, a pair of tickets to the August 24th showing of Serenity. I figured that if my employers turned around and told me I needed to be back in Egypt already by that point, that I could post them to my mate E (who got sucked into Firefly while he was visiting me in Cairo, and with whom I'll be staying in Edinburgh, and with whom I'm going to go to the movie). Or even sell them on ebay, maybe.

And I kept asking for info about travel.

And nobody answered my emails.

Now, okay, they've moved campuses, maybe he's not receiving the emails, but what the fuck else am I supposed to do by way of communicating with them? They have my email address. They have my phone number.

Time passed. Eventually, by August 15th, I sent a pretty damned terse email to SonOfBigCheese, saying, look, I'm happy to arrange my own travel details, just tell me when you need me back at work and I'll sort it out. Because right now? I'm putting my life on hold. I'm unable to make commitments or plan my movements within the UK. I'm treading water. TALK (continued...)

( continues...) TO ME. Please. Since your father Mr BigCheeseMinionOfGreatestCheese telephoned me, and in the course of the conversation assured me that the travel agents would call me, I have not left the house. I have been waiting for the phone call for a week. It has not come. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME ABOUT THIS.

Still nothing. The next day I emailed him and said, right, okay, I do get that this isn't a big important thing for you, but it is really having a significant impact upont he quality of my life right now and I need to sort this out. Since nobody has contacted me yet, I'm going to assume that you're not expecting me to be in Cairo on August 24th, and that I'm therefore free to go up to Edinburgh. This being the case, I would far rather fly out to Cairo from Edinburgh than pay £170 to travel from Edinburgh down to Heathrow by train. So what I'd like to do is go ahead and make my own travel arrangements, okay? And I'll definitely be back in Cairo by September 1st, if not before. If that's a problem, just tell me, okay? And I won't do it. I mean, I really want to go to this show, and it's my birthday, but I'll totally prioritise my responsibility to my employer above my plans for my birthday. Just tell me now, please? Because what I really don't want to do is spend several hundred unrefundable pounds of my own money on a ticket from Edinburgh to Cairo, just to find that your travel agents have already made travel arrangements for me. So I'm going to go ahead and do this, if you don't get back to me tomorrow to tell me it's a problem. I hope this will lighten your load, rather than add to your problems.

And of course I heard nothing. And you know? I didn't go ahead and make the travel arrangements the next day. I waited for 3 days. Today I went and booked a coach up to Edinburgh and spent £260 on a ticket from Edinburgh to Cairo on August 29th. Nonrefundable. Naturally.

And I come home to find a breezy little letter from the Motherfucking Travel Agents telling me that my ticket is on its way to me by TNT or DHL or something, and that I'm flying down to London from Leeds on the 27th, should spend no more than £50 on accomodation overnight, and will then be flying from Heathrow on 28th.

And right now I want to kill something.

I know, I know, it's all typical standard Egyptian behaviour. This is how it is there. But right now I'm NOT living in Egypt, and right now the sheer selfishness of this assumption that my time is worthless, and that I can be left hanging and hanging and hanging like this, makes me absolutely furious beyond my power to express it. I want to rip off SonOfBigCheese's overeducated fucking head and shit down his neck.*

Let me just reiterate - they told my flatmate her travel details (which, as it turns out, are the same as mine) nearly two months ago. Me? Nope. I get 7 days' notice.

My intention at present is to go right ahead with travelling up to Edinburgh and flying out on the 29th. If my employers are expecting me at work before then, I shall go ahead and use their ticket, and just suck it up. But I am NOT impressed.

*well, maybe not entirely beyond my power to express it.

Also, I'm supposed to be switching to heat about now.

No heat, vw, until at least tomorrow. If you sprained it, it will feel better if you wrap it with an Ace bandage.

That's a cool tornado picture, Sail. I'm glad you didn't get a really close-up look.

...You do know that there are Harry Potter fanficcers who write squidslash, yes?

Actually, yes I do. It baffles me, because I don't even remember where squids figure into the books, but I do know of their existence.

There is a Guardian Of The Lake Outside Moria Giant Squid in the lake next to Hogwarts.

Fay, first let me say Happy Birthday in England!!!

And on the travel arrangements, let me say: BOLLOCKS. What a fucking pain in the ass.

Happy Birthday, FAY!!!

I am so sorry your employer is being so ignorant. I don't care if this is standard Egyptian behavior, or not. You explained yourself quite clearly, and cultural understanding is a two-way street.

I would tell them to cancel their ticket, and expect to reimburse you for the ticket you've purchased, instead. And, I mean "tell". I would not ask. I would "tell" nicely, and all, but it would be telling, just the same.

Ooh, happy birthday, Fay!!