Susan, I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. You and your family have my sympathy.

Thanks, everyone.

It's just strange. I think I've known this was coming for long enough that it's a gradual grieving process--it's almost a relief that the agonizing wait is over. I was already mourning that I couldn't talk to him in quite the same way anymore, that I'd never be able to buy him books or his favorite candy for his birthday or Father's Day, that Annabel won't remember him, that any future child we might have won't meet him, that I didn't manage to become published in his lifetime, etc. None of that is any different than it was yesterday or a week ago. I expect it'll continue to hit me at odd moments for a long time, and in between I'll just keep living my life.

DH found us a flight. We're flying out Thursday morning. We probably could've done tomorrow, but this will allow us more wiggle room and keep us from pulling a near all-nighter to get out the door. If the current plan stands, we'll have to essentially go straight from the airport to the viewing with barely time to change, but we'll manage.

I have a list, and I'm going through it. I don't know what it says about me that lists are a tremendous comfort at these times, but they are.

Susan, I get the list thing. It's easier for me to go through a list. It's concrete, you tick them off as you go - you don't dwell, you just do. Good that you guys are able to get out with a reasonable time schedule.

My dad passed away 11 years ago, and it still hits me at weird times. But it's easier as the years pass to get past the ouch and think of fun things we did, good memories and bad (lots of teen angst years), that sort of stuff. Keep him alive with the memories. Annabel may not have a solid memory of him, but she'll know him through you. My oldest was only 2 when my dad died she has sketchy memories of him. But she and my youngest, who was born 3 years after he died, both know him from things that I've told them and home movies/pictures. I tell them stories that he told me about his life, and about when I was growing up.

edited because I can't spell

I don't know what it says about me that lists are a tremendous comfort at these times, but they are.

It's the one thing you can control when circumstances are out of control.

Condolences, Susan. I hope the pain of losing your dad fades to happy memories and stories to tell Annabel as soon as may be.

It's the one thing you can control when circumstances are out of control.

This is exactly what I was going to say.

Susan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Oh, Susan.

I'm so very sorry.

My condolences to you and your family, Susan.

Strength to you and your family, Susan.