Housing costs are insane just about everywhere. Even here in Madison, the median house is $150k. Doesn't sound that bad compared to the coasts, but when $150k gets you maybe a dumpy little 2 bedroom with 800 sq. ft. it says a lot about what the average house is versus the median. Most of the newer houses are fairly big and you're lucky if you can find anything for under $350k. The developers seem to think everyone is this city is a doctor or lawyer. Honestly, how anyone can afford a house if they're single, I don't know. Two incomes, yeah, I'm guessing it's doable. Which is why I'm starting out with a dumpy little condo and hoping to move up to a small, yet not so dumpy, house. Why they can't build slightly smaller houses that cost a reasonable amount, I don't know. There is a huge market for them, lots of renters would love to get out of renting, but they can't afford it. Build what people can afford, dammit!

We weren't, I should be clear, living paycheck to paycheck when we bought the house. We were paying undermarket rent on a two bedroom, both working full time, and prospects looked dandy.

Stupid 2001.

We're just now crawling out of that particular hole.

The advice I've seen with stand alone house ownership is to budget for one big thing a year (major expenses like the roof, painting the outside, updating X, Y, or Z), sort of like having your own condo fund thinger.

What we fell into, and what would have been fine if either we had more money or Paul was into working on houses or I was allowed to play with power tools*, is the "cosmetic" fixer trap.

If I had it to do over, which I wouldn't, because frustrations with the house fed into how I wound up here and besides, I wouldn't change anything that might mess with the whole having had Lillian thing, but if I *did*, I'd probably more seriously consider a zero lotline townhouse or a slightly smaller, but totally fixed up, home.

We still have to decide where we want to be when we leave this place. The house was originally a five year plan, but it's looking more and more like it's going to be a ten year one. Go team equity, I guess. I just hope all the undone things are done by then.

With a condo or co-op, these particular issues aren't as big.

Sigh. Anyone have any idea where to find replacement boards for the huge, thick siding that was popular in the 60s and 70s? This is my current frustration. (I hate my POs. I hate my POs. 99% of what's wrong with the house went wrong under their watch, and in the name of updating.)

Talked to VCOB--he said there's no real change from yesterday. I asked him if he knew ExArmy!Brother's plans, and he said they were the same as ours, to wait and come as soon as we know when the funeral would be. I mentioned that I wished I could be there now, and he said they knew that, but that we could be having this same conversation a week from today, and there's only so much you can put on hold--if nothing changes between now and tomorrow, he still has to go pick up a U-Haul and get Rachel moved in to her new place down at Auburn.

So. I feel better about the way we're handling the situation, at least. We all have appropriate things to wear now. I've let all the people I'm regularly in contact with know that I may disappear on them temporarily at any point. DH has put in a formal request for the maximum bereavement leave allowed, and has sorted out which airlines offer the best combinations of good fares and direct routes. MIL is paying for our tickets, and is planning to drive out from Tulsa when the time comes and offer her services to help out with Annabel and my grand-niece, or anything else she can do.

Susan, it sounds like you're doing everything you can do. It is hard waiting. Much strength and peace~ma to you and your family. Your MiL is a very kind woman, you must feel very blessed.

The Red Sox game is on rain delay. I am still quite sore today, and I need to drag myself out of the house, and at least go walk around somewhere for a bit to stretch out.

As far as owning v. renting, I am not sure I could afford to own anytime in the near future, even if Teacup Guy and I went in on it together. The housing prices around here have just about doubled in the past few years.

Even here in Madison, the median house is $150k.

There is almost nothing for that price around here.

Housing costs are insane just about everywhere.

So very true. The town where I grew up in NJ is insane-o now. There's no space for new construction, but the town is so desirable (shortish commute to NYC, pretty town) people are spending $500K for a tiny Cape Cods, then *knocking them down* and building McMansions on the wee lots instead. The big old Vicorians go for $800K and up. Crazy.

Here, north of Syracuse, you can buy a 3-BR Colonial for around $120K, if not less. In *this* town, though. Closer to Syracuse, which is maybe twenty miles away, you'd add $100K to that. Weird.

I hate my POs. I hate my POs. 99% of what's wrong with the house went wrong under their watch

This is how I feel about what has become my father-in-law's house (was in my mother-in-law's family, but Dad is all that's left now). The women who grew up here and lived here almost all of their lives (my MiL's aunts) were so cheap. And didn't have anything resembling taste. They took what could have been/once was a gracious old farmhouse and ruined it. Put plastic tile in the bathrooms. The ugliest, cheapest carpeting you could find on the floors. Never fixed anything that wasn't actively falling on their heads. Replaced what I assume were solid doors with crappy hollow-cores. Feh on them.

My PO was an elderly man with excellent taste in furnishings (all antique Asian pieces - beautiful) but cheap as all get out on actually fixing up the place in which he lived. Everything needed/needs replacing. So far we've redone 80% of the flooring, painted the entire place except for one small bathroom, replaced doorknobs/cabinet pulls/etc., and replaced some nasty lighting fixtures. It's livable but it really could stand more extensive remodeling. We're looking at this as a temporary living space and future rental so we're loathe to do to much to it but I admit that I often dream of redoing the kitchen and both bathrooms.. In reality, we'll probably replace the windows, do a minor remodel to one bathroom, and some cosmetic fixings in the kitchen. Still, living here compared to living in the last couple of apts I rented is like night and day. We got lucky that we bought just as prices were starting to skyrocket so it was still in our budget. This place has doubled in its worth since we bought it 2.5 years ago. Insane.

My family live in Barnsley. Barnsley has pretty countryside around it, but precious few jobs. It has not, traditionally, been regarded as a desirable place to live.

The tiny wee houses that have been constructed on the former High School Field behind my parents' house? £300,000.

Tiny. Wee. Houses. Tiny. Not in a sexy location.

I cannot foresee any possibility of me buying a house/flat in the UK in my lifetime.

Were I living & working in Britain now, I'd be on around £20,000. Instead I'm on £13,000 (plus rent allowance & health insurance, tax free).

Susan, I'm glad that your MiL will be able to help your family out when you're out there. You are handling this, from what I've seen here, exceptionally well, and have all your ducks in line. I just wish you didn't have to have them in a line.

I hope the 5pm service is helpful.

I forgot to add my footnote to the above, which is that I'm not allowed to play with powertools, because I generally have no idea where my limbs are in relation to my body at any given time, unless I'm concentrating really hard, and only on the whole where-are-my-arms thing. I only got a passing grade in Shop class because I promised my teacher I'd never attempt to learn woodworking again. It's one of those things where I tried *really* hard, and just, frankly, sucked. I'd find it lowering, except the other one was Home Ec, where I stayed in class at lunch to try finishing my sewing projects and still got a D, because they don't reward for effort. Clearly, the extremes of manly and womanly are not for me, and I should have stuck to the effete, like that time I had two art classes in a row right before my free period, so I essentially had a three hour block of art.

Also, I want to be a mom like Laura when I grow up. She's my role model.

Just to give you an idea, this condo [link] is in my neck of the woods. We bought our 2+2, 1300 sq. ft. condo for considerably less than this 2.5 years ago.