Tep, I know how you feel, I get into those cycles of reacting to stress, and hating myself for reacting to it, and feeling like a failure because it feels so hard. I seriously heard myself say pretty much every terrible thing you wrote about yourself, I have felt and said that stuff all spring/summer long. Yikes!
Many other people have said some really excellent things about how your reactions are not indicative of any sort of moral failings, so I'll let those stand; I just thought I'd let you know I think I understand what all those voices in your head are saying, and it sucks, and we are both better than that. And, see, you don't suck. And you're not whining. And I'm hoping you get through today.
Back to VT: (I wish) we spent most of our time in Southern Vermont (Wilmington, Brattleboro, Bridgewater Corners), which may be a bit of a hike for you. We are hoping our next trip will be exploring the northern part. I can get some stuff together in an email for you, though. When are you leaving? You should try to get some BBQ at Curtis' place in Putney. Right off exit 4 on I-91. Blue schoolbus. thick BBQ smoke cloud. Can't miss it.
In mememe news, we have survived a terrifying yet exhilerating bout of IKEA shopping, which occured yesterday. Our house looks like a giant flatpack exploded, leaving millions of little flatpacks in its wake. OK, that didn't make much sense, but my brain is a bit taxed, with the being back at work and all.
I am also hoping the weather is nice next weekend, because we are hosting 2 social engagements and it looks like we've moved in all over again. Sigh.
Tep, I know how you feel, I get into those cycles of reacting to stress, and hating myself for reacting to it, and feeling like a failure because it feels so hard.
I just -- you know how, if (for instance) you know that your parents really know how to push your buttons, like, they'll *always* mention how you should have majored in business/bought a Toyota/married that nice boy from down the block/etc.? And since they *always* bring the same things up, you can usually prepare youself ahead of time, and build up defenses of some sort against that?
I have no defenses against my own brain, and I don't even know how to go about building them.
Back to VT: (I wish) we spent most of our time in Southern Vermont (Wilmington, Brattleboro, Bridgewater Corners), which may be a bit of a hike for you. We are hoping our next trip will be exploring the northern part. I can get some stuff together in an email for you, though. When are you leaving? You should try to get some BBQ at Curtis' place in Putney. Right off exit 4 on I-91. Blue schoolbus. thick BBQ smoke cloud. Can't miss it.
An e-mail would be great, thanks! We leave Wednesday morning. I still have a lot to do before then, oh joy.
Will you have time to vote tomorrow, Steph?
And since they *always* bring the same things up, you can usually prepare youself ahead of time, and build up defenses of some sort against that?
Wouldn't it be nice if this were so. (It's certainly not in my case)
I'm working on trying to control my time with them, and having an exit strategy before going in. My brain, she cannot be controlled. Put Tom in charge of an itinerary though? Whoa, Nelly.
Oh Steph, I was thinking of you on Saturday. We were at the Padres vs. Reds game and ended up with an extra ticket. I kept thinking "If only Steph were here, she'd really enjoy this game." The Reds WALKED ALL OVER the Pads this weekend.
I am EVIL.
Just thought I'd make that clear in case there was any doubt in anyone's mind.
She's the bug who could do evil, apparently.
Aimee, BWAH!
Did you love it or what?!
Steph, I hope you can find the coping mechanisms you need. You definitely weren't overly whiny. Sometimes, that shit piles up and you need to vent it or else. I know the guilt and the love gets all tangled up with the annoyance and it sucks.
I was coming home from visiting a friend at the hospital last night and coming back on the freeway close to my home exit, I see a group of about five or six guys riding motorcycles (crotch rocket, cafe bikes). One guy was flying out ahead of the pack while the rest fanned out into the lanes and held back traffic so the first asshole COULD RIDE A FUCKING WHEELIE RIGHT NEXT TO MY TRUCK GOING 70 MPH.
I called 911. I hate assholes who could get people--especially when the people is me--killed.
