This girl at school? She told me that gelatin is made from ground-up cow's feet and that every time you eat Jell-O there's some cow out there limping around without any feet. But I told her that I'm sure the cow is dead before they cut its feet off, right?

Dawn ,'Never Leave Me'


Spike's Bitches 25 to Life  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


DavidS - Jul 12, 2005 8:21:28 am PDT #198 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

And sorry, not giving it either of those titles, silly Hec.

You suck! Just think how much it would brighten the day of your teacher. It's just pure selfishness on your part, placing your grade prospects over your teacher's entertainment.

Also, you should run the whole thing through Babelfish first. Into Esperanto. Then remove all the apostrophes and replace them with random diacritical marks. Then index everything but not alphabetically - by etymological chronology. So the oldest words in the English language come first.


Cashmere - Jul 12, 2005 8:21:30 am PDT #199 of 10001
Now tagless for your comfort.

There wasn't a Bitches 25 thread at 4:00+ AM my time. I know, because I checked before I went to bed.

Heh... I was like a dog who's food dish had been moved between 2 and 3 a.m. I kept coming back to the board thinking there would be a new thread. Stompies gotta sleep, too, I suppose.

Not touching the Weekly Reader link with a 10 foot pole. Nope. I need to preserve my childhood innocence.


Hil R. - Jul 12, 2005 8:21:32 am PDT #200 of 10001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

Just got word from my friend. She's OK; she'd been shopping at that mall, but left a few minutes before the bombing.

-t, I hope your husband's family is alright.

My thoughts are with everyone there now.


Nora Deirdre - Jul 12, 2005 8:23:32 am PDT #201 of 10001
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

Not the CAT boots?

Yes!


vw bug - Jul 12, 2005 8:23:56 am PDT #202 of 10001
Mostly lurking...

Poor woman has a hard enough time with regular English, Hec! That would be just cruel!

And, this paper doesn't really have any funnies for the prof, but my one from earlier today does.


askye - Jul 12, 2005 8:24:24 am PDT #203 of 10001
Thrive to spite them

My first reaction was -- (White font for decency) you stupid cocksucking bitch cunt from hell

But I'm not going to write that.

This is what I wrote instead:

Dear Ms. Hill,

I'm very confused by your recently editorial regarding Wyatt Sexton and I would appreciate some clarifcation.

First -- in your editorial you said "A few weeks ago, I wrote that it would be better if Sexton had a drug problem rather than an incurabel, but treatabel mental condition, such as bipolar disorder."

I was floored to read this. Completely struck dumb and then irate.

Exactly how would it be better? Are you saying that an incurable drug addiction (because there is no cure for drug addiction) is better than an illness that is treatable? I have biploar disorder, I'm on medication and I know that as long as I take my medication I will be stable. If, on the off chance, my medication doesn't work correctly I can go to the doctor and adjust my medication. There is no temptation to face daily, no desire to get high, no craving, no addiction. If this is your position -- that addiction is preferable to a treatable condition -- do you feel that way about all treatable but uncurable conditons? If Wyatt Sexton were diagonsised with Lupus or MS or diabetes would you say, also, that he would be better off a drug addict?

Or did you mean that there is less of a stigma attached to drug addiction? That the general public is more likely to understand and react sympathetically to addiction than it is towards mental illness? Because if that is the case then you are preputating the stigma.

I also take offense at your implication that maybe there is something more than Lyme Disease going on with Sexton, that maybe his family is using the excuse to hide something like drug addiction. (This is af

Finally I feel that you insulted all the residents of Tallahassee by saying that Sexton would not be accepted back here and imply that he should leave before he brings more shame to the Florida State program.


askye - Jul 12, 2005 8:25:18 am PDT #204 of 10001
Thrive to spite them

Hil, so glad to hear your friend is okay.


Trudy Booth - Jul 12, 2005 8:27:38 am PDT #205 of 10001
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart

Oh, Hil! Thank God she is alright, but that is entirely too close a call.


-t - Jul 12, 2005 8:35:09 am PDT #206 of 10001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

I'm glad she's okay, Hil. That's scarily close, though.

DH thinks his relatives moved.


juliana - Jul 12, 2005 8:38:03 am PDT #207 of 10001
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…

Not the CAT boots?

Yes!

Really? But they lace! I was going to order them as a self-birthday prezzie! They look awesome and stretchy! Grrrrrrr. Wanted long lace-up kick-ass boots. Pout.

Hil, glad to hear your friend is okay.

askye, I'd copyedit the letter prior to sending, but it's pretty damn good.