Adding my own wedding experiences...

I've been a bridesmaid twice. The first one, I had to buy the dress(which wasn't all that bad. It was black, and I had it shortened to cocktail length after the ceremony) and be at the wedding.(Since my brother and his fiancee lived in NYC and I was in NC, they understood me not attending the bridal shower) The second one I wore a dress I had bought previously, since it was the color I was assigned.(Each of the bride's attendants was assigned a color, based on what they looked good in)I brought food and helped decorate for the shower.

I had one bridal shower, which was thrown by my Matron of Honor, and was quite low-key. Snacks, a few games and unwrapping gifts. My bachelorette party was me and three friends at Dave & Buster's playing videogames and skee-ball. I gave my female attendants(I didn't have bridesmaids, just the MoH and huppah bearers) gift certificates to a spa.(Male attendants got money clips with their monograms engraved on it)

We ended up with ~160 people at the wedding, and I thought that was a lot. Guess not...

To haul out the pedant for a moment, unless the people from the Renaissance are having an "Olden Tymes" party, chainmail is pretty much gone from the armoury by then, depending on where you are and when. Transitional plate and full plate has replaced chainmail almost everywhere by that time (depending on how you define Renaissance and where/when you are). Both would still be reasonably effective at protecting an astronaut suit from swords, to bring the discussion back to the purposeful and sensible origins.

Well, to be fair, the chainmail requirement came before the Renaissance theme. But I'll leave it up to tommyrot which is more important. It's his big day on Mars, after all.

I will buy a present for a shower, but I always give a check as a gift, or part of it.

But that's what the money dance is for!

This is more or less true here, depending on the customs of the families.

That varies widely.

Personally, I wouldn't think very much of getting money as a wedding gift. It seems a little tacky.

From FoxNew's Jon Gibson, "Rove should get a medal". [link]

"Rove should get a medal".

To pin his lips shut. ARGH!

Personally, I wouldn't think very much of getting money as a wedding gift. It seems a little tacky.

It'a cultural thing. Some cultures see it as the best possible gift, as the new couple will probably be putting toward something like a house. In my WASPy family it would be Not Done.

I have been MoH once, for my sister. Never a bridesmaid.

I have been to one wedding shower, for my sister. I threw a Bachelorette Party weekend at Foxwoods for her, along with my cousins. It was on the expensive side, and I hope we weren't assholes about it. Man, I forgot about that. Yikes!

I abstained from all shower and bachelorette party experience with my own wedding, 'cause, eloped.

It'a cultural thing. Some cultures see it as the best possible gift, as the new couple will probably be putting toward something like a house.

Or the wedding.

OK, so do I let my Thursday boss know that I've seen the frantic emails, or do I pretend I don't check that account when I'm not there? WHAT TO DO???

But I'll leave it up to tommyrot which is more important. It's his big day on Mars, after all.

Damn straight!

Also, ice on Mars will need to be melted, or else water brought from Earth, so my sweetheart and I can honnymoon in a nice cottage on the shores of a Martian ocean... We'll sail there in a gondola pulled by a genetically-engineered dragon.

"Rove should get a medal".

Proof that "blame the victim" is always a good defense strategy in the neo-con handbook.