But....can't you just do your own makeup?

well, you _can_, but I, for one, dont' trust my hand not to be shaking so that I'm drawing all over my face with eyeliner.

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I've been to one wedding that was HUGE, the reception was held at the country club and they had multiple carving stations -- several inside and outside. The appetizers were all served on mirrored serving trays, it was very impressive.

The biggest thing I remember is that her dress looked kinda cheap.

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I wouldn't do my own makeup, especially given there will be pictures.

I was just given the "Anti-Bride Guide" by a friend that just married (not that I'm getting married, but her other good female friend is single) and it made me really depressed. It's not an "Anti-Bride" thing at all! It's a regular old wedding guide with a pink cover!

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The other thing I like about the organization of Orthodox weddings is that, with all the pre-ceremony stuff (there's a word for that, right? I can't remember it now), there's much more allowance for people to get to here late and not miss the actual wedding ceremony.

I usually arrive to Orthodox weddings at 1/2 hour after the "Kabalas Panim" (reception) is called. Last year, we attended a wedding for my wife's friend who had the reception after the chupah and half her wedding guests missed it.

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I think once you accept the premise of a Renaissance themed wedding on Mars, cost had better be no object.

Fair enough.

To haul out the pedant for a moment, unless the people from the Renaissance are having an "Olden Tymes" party, chainmail is pretty much gone from the armoury by then, depending on where you are and when. Transitional plate and full plate has replaced chainmail almost everywhere by that time (depending on how you define Renaissance and where/when you are). Both would still be reasonably effective at protecting an astronaut suit from swords, to bring the discussion back to the purposeful and sensible origins.

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Yargh. All this wedding talk is only reminding me of all the crap I need to get done. Like send invitations to the bachelorette party which include a fun and entertaining way to say "hire a stripper and both the bride and I will kill you."

I'm entertained by the way you've put it here, but brenda has a point about people who'd consider that a challenge.

You could go vague--something like, "[Bride] and I believe no real woman ever has to pay a man to disrobe. Accordingly, I've limited the invites to real women." Might be too snotty.

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In the US, it's so expensive that the number of guests is limited for cost.

Makes perfect sense. Also, in Israel, it's very acceptable not to bring a present, but money instead (a check, mostly). Usually, the price written on the check will take into account the place in which the wedding takes place (how expensive-looking it is, what sort of place it is, and so forth), as well as the degree of closeness between the guest and the couple. Most people expect that the total sum of the money-presents will cover the cost of the wedding itself, and more often than not, this is what happens.

Wolfram, I've been to several weddings here in which they delayed the "khupa" so that most of the guests would be able to attend.

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How about "Screwball comedy has its limits. Those limits preculde any instances where 'screw' and 'ball' are taken literally. We thank you for maintaining what little dignity we have."

But then, I did have the kind of wedding where the bride and groom drove the 3-tiered cake 45 miles to the ceremony location in the back of their aged Toyota Corolla hatchback. Note to future marriers - while it ended well, this was not a good idea for stress reasons alone. I had to compulsively recount stories fron Herodotus to keep from flipping out with worry. Ask Nutty, she was there.

This is the truth! I learned all about Leonidas in the gap at Thermopylae, and heroic Spartan deaths. Very educational. Also, absolutely hilarious, because, as coping mechanisms go, it was harmless and entertaining.

think the most stressful parts of being the MoH turned out to be talking the bride down after a fight

I got to do this too! Except it was a fight between flea and our Momzilla. Who really, pretended she was sane until very late on in the process (the day before, in fact), at which point STEEL CHAFING DISHES WERE BAD AND WRONG and nothing would do for her Precious but silver. (The fact that Precious and Mr. Precious were the ones who had decided on, and paid for, steel, was immaterial.)

As I recall, I baked the offended Precious and Mr. Precious cookies. And I have no idea what the chafing dishes ended up being made of, because who except a Momzilla actually gives a shit?

I have been to exactly one formal "wedding shower" type of thing, back when I was in college, and I was totally ignorant of the traditions of same. (It was held in an empty college cafeteria, and involved tea and home-baked goods.) And I can say even now, that if I were required to pay $150 to attend a wedding shower, I'd suddenly be too busy. It's not that I don't have that kind of money, but that I would feel like I was buying my way into company/love/the inner circle.

I mean, also, I just don't see the point, and you couldn't drag me to a wine tasting if you tied me up, but really, the part that makes me flinch away is the part where money comes to equal feeling. I attended several weddings fresh out of college, when I had no money a tall, and in each case, I gave a modest gift with wicked arty wrapping/ribbon/style. Actually I still do that, with the wrapping, because I am a big nerd, but the point is, it was something (partially) from my hands, and that mattered more than what it cost.

Sort of like John Sweden's example of U2 tickets, which he slaved over (I mean, in the boredom sense). If he'd bought them from a scalper for a lot more money, they wouldn't be more emotionally valuable.

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Also, in Israel, it's very acceptable not to bring a present, but money instead (a check, mostly). Usually, the price written on the check will take into account the place in which the wedding takes place (how expensive-looking it is, what sort of place it is, and so forth), as well as the degree of closeness between the guest and the couple. Most people expect that the total sum of the money-presents will cover the cost of the wedding itself, and more often than not, this is what happens.

This is more or less true here, depending on the customs of the families. I will buy a present for a shower, but I always give a check as a gift, or part of it.

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I usually arrive to Orthodox weddings at 1/2 hour after the "Kabalas Panim" (reception) is called. Last year, we attended a wedding for my wife's friend who had the reception after the chupah and half her wedding guests missed it.

The last Orthodox wedding I went to was on Long Island, and we were driving in from New Jersey. There was a ton of traffic, we got there nearly an hour and a half late, and still had time to talk to the bride (well, we kind of pushed to the front of the line, on the "we're her friends, all of you people are distant relatives of the groom" rationale) and grab a few hors d'oevres before the ceremony started. I think we got there just in time for the badeken (which is the word I was trying to remember before.)

(Badeken is when the groom comes into the bride's reception area and puts the veil on her.)

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