There is really going to be a reality show to replace Michael Hutchence? Because I can kinda hear the catchy tunes but mostly my brain is repeating autoerotic asphyxiation over and over, and I think I am kinda on the more accepting edge of the fetish charts.

I'm guessing his replacement doesn't have to meet the "autoerotic asphyxiation" requirement.

Is it just me, or is this over the top? I know that I am very sensistive about money these days because I just bought a goddamn house, but I'm looking at at LEAST $500 BEFORE I buy a gift!!

Um. That is craxxy. Also, my impression is that people in the wedding party do not need to buy a gift, 'cause of all the shower expenses etc. At least, that's what I've heard. I may not know so many insane-o bridezilla types though.

Oh, no. Members of the wedding party are expected to buy a whole separate wedding gift, in addition to a gift for each shower, as well as paying for their often-not-flattering-never-wear-it-again outfit, AND paying some amount for the shower/bachelorette party/luncheon (or all 3) that they're expected to throw.

I have been in such a wedding. (Seven years later, though, I had sex with the husband, so I eventually got my revenge.) (No, really.) (Okay, the sex part is true, but it was drunken stupidity, not revenge.)

I take a pretty dim view of the whole concept of bridesmaids. They're useless. Every time I've been a bridesmaid, my entire function was to spend a lot of money to stand around for a very short amount of time. (Except for the one FAC wedding where I was put to work the day before the wedding setting up tables and chairs and tents and so forth, and then more decorating the morning of the wedding, and then breaking it all down after the wedding was over. I was weeping with exhaustion by the end of the night.)

I realize I'm outside the norm, but I don't want to spend ridiculous amounts of money to be decorative; neither to I want to spend ridiculous amounts of money to be the (non)hired help.

Ahem.

t /steps off soapbox

If we make you a wedding dress out of toilet paper will you feel better?

Heh. A friend of my sister's made her prom dress out of duct tape and black and white photographs.

You bought a house? Cool!

Weddings = freaky.

Party at Steph's in - what, February?

Vortex, that is totally craxxy. And if you're looking at $500 already, I think you're totally justified in considering THAT your gift. You're giving this woman your time, your energy, your help in planning and carrying out this (insanely large) number of events, and a $500 investment in all of the above? That's your gift. You're done.

Thus have I spake, and I had a big ol' schmancy church wedding with a total wedding party (including myself and Hec) of 14, and we did it without the crazy drama and without sending all our attendants to the poorhouse. $150 apiece for a wine-tour bachelorette party? The fuck? My bachelorette party was my MOH and another friend taking me to a nice Italian restaurant to eat too much pasta, drink too much prosecco, and gossip about crazy family antics, total cost about $25 apiece. And it was lovely, and the universe didn't collapse because I didn't get an Event.

Has this bride always been like this, or is it just the wedding-planning that's making everything all craxy?

Also, new tag. t just finished watching last night's Daily Show

Yeah, sumi, I think that's at the root of the not telling anyone. Watching her son be so solicitous had me ready to cry. I think she also is hoping that Tommy will say he doesn't want the baby so she can stage a miscarriage or something. I don't know how else she's gonna dig herself out of it - get pregnant immediately and handwave the extremely long pregnancy?

I didn't even get one shower. Now I feel cheated.

I turn out to be a natural at making the ribbon bouquet, if you ever feel the need for one of those.....

Weddings = freaky.

My bro and future SIL are having one attendant-person each, who were told to wear whatever they want. SIL asked me if I minded not being a bridesmaid, and I told her that, on the contrary, the fact that I'm NOT makes me love her even more.

(However, my family is fulfilling the Bridezilla duties in her stead. Familyzilla. They're driving me fucking NUTS. Should I ever get married, I am SO eloping.)

My academic department took me out to dinner (at a great place - the Montgomery Inn at the Boathouse) and bought me camping gear at Wal-mart when I got married. I think that was the extent of my "shower"ing.

But then, I did have the kind of wedding where the bride and groom drove the 3-tiered cake 45 miles to the ceremony location in the back of their aged Toyota Corolla hatchback. (Note to future marriers - while it ended well, this was not a good idea for stress reasons alone. I had to compulsively recount stories fron Herodotus to keep from flipping out with worry. Ask Nutty, she was there.)