I shoplifted The Happy Hooker Goes Wild from The Treasury when I was about 12.

My parents had The Happy Hooker -- I found it when we moved, so I must have been 8. Eight is not an age of great patience, so I never made it to the porn. Emmanuelle and Candy gave it up much more quickly, but mostly we stuck to the pictorial stuff (the simple stuff -- Emmanuelle was the movie novelisation, but we couldn't make head nor tail (intended) of the pics, so stuck to the words).

Raccoon, yes. Her name was Mandy. We caught her with a device Grandandy taught us to build. I can't remember if we skinny dipped or swam in our clothes. I know my younger cousins- they weren't around when I was 10, they're only pre-adolecent now- skinny dipped in my dad's cousin's above ground pool recently (they live across the street- dirt road- from my grandparents).

You must make it down to Dallas, or I have to make it up to SF so I can invite y'all down there. We even have an extra trailer now for guests. It used to be my uncle A.C.'s and it's just next to Mimi's.

Mimi and Grandandy's [link]

My aunts Becky, DJ, and Patsy at the lake (in ascending order). [link]

My uncles Bobby, Johnny and Don at the lake- with bonus Casey (in weird order Johnny's oldest, then Bobby, then Don- all older than my dad) [link]

but mostly we stuck to the pictorial stuff

We dumpster dived at the base behind the Airmen's barracks. Plenty of free porn was to be had back there on a regular basis.

cries and cries and cries.

Well. I'm sure you'll suck less after your new haircut.

There was one woman who always asked us to pray for soap opera characters.

Heh. Great detail.

You have never tried so hard not to laugh during church than having to pray that Vicki gets the help she needs and can, in time, learn to forgive her father who gave her life.

Also, in the picture of my grandparents' there's a huge huckleberry thatch to the left you can't see.

I'm sure you'll suck less after your new haircut.

Now was that nice?

Now was that nice?

Was it Not!Nice? Everybody's better after a new haircut.

::shakes personal compass again::

No, that's what it says.

Hee.

Of course, since you haven't give me any advice yet, I'll probably end up with a mullet on one side and a buzz cut on the other.

Lest anyone forget I was horribly cute as a child.

Of course, since you haven't give me any advice yet, I'll probably end up with a mullet on one side and a buzz cut on the other.

Well, I have put some thought to it and will try to come up with some pictures tomorrow.

Lest anyone forget I was horribly cute as a child.

Yeah, but even better as an adult.