Natter 36: But We Digress...
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
One of my roommates seems to think that she won't deserve to find a SO unless she finishes fixing all her flaws. She has to become perfect in order for anyone to be interested in her enough.
If she gets all perfect, she'll take herself completely out of the dating pool. Who could live up to, or with perfection?
I guess there's a place that whines, in me: "in what am I less than everybody else, that they got what they wanted and I didn't?". Not "what is so flawed in me that nobody wants me?" sort of whine, though. Closer to "what am I doing wrong? Am I doing something wrong?". And then I keep reminding myself that it's not up to just me. And then it's back to timing and luck and that's out of my hands.
It is. And, you are a very busy woman, right now. I can't imagine handling your workload as it is, never mind with a serious boyfriend or husband in the picture.
I can't imagine handling your workload as it is, never mind with a serious boyfriend or husband in the picture.
How about a casual boyfriend, one who's lots of fun, and always there when you call but not pining when you don't?
They do make those, right?
I can't imagine handling your workload as it is, never mind with a serious boyfriend or husband in the picture.
Most of the grad students here are already married, and most of them have at least one or two children, for the record.
They hadn't known how they'd be able to do it, either, according to them, but each and every one of them says that they had learned to use their time better, to re-order their priorities.
How about a casual boyfriend, one who's lots of fun, and always there when you call but not pining when you don't?
They do make those, right?
I do not know why you are not swarming with boys (boys you'd actually want swarming around). I should totally call your mother and work out a way we could take over your life.
Most of the grad students here are already married, and most of them have at least one or two children, for the record.
They hadn't known how they'd be able to do it, either, according to them, but each and every one of them says that they had learned to use their time better, to re-order their priorities.
I know you are not one to toot your own horn, but do you think they have the workload and dedication you seem to have?
How about a casual boyfriend, one who's lots of fun, and always there when you call but not pining when you don't?
Ooh, I'd take one of those!
My brother is one of those married grad students with a kid. It is not easy and he's pretty much had to dump all other activities (though he's hanging on to car repair by his teeth.) My SIL is working on her undergrad degree, but also teaches at a part time daycare place. Which is how they manage to have daycare. Every so often, my nephew is sent off to the grandparents for a week or two so J & P can catch up on stuff, be it exams, car repairs, appointments, etc.
In fact, I think he's off to the grandparents so they can move this week.
I don't know how parent grad students can do it. I work full-time, go to school part-time and have difficulties juggling that with a BF. I can't imagine throwing a kid into the mix.
I'd take one of those!
Me too!
do you think they have the workload and dedication you seem to have?
Yup. And a better pace of it, too, for some. I'm not being modest here or anything - though, thanks for the compliment - they publish more, for example.
They don't have, say, b.org or anything like it. They hardly ever get to finish a book, watch tv regularly or go to the movies, or even catch up on their sleep. They see much less of friends and even family, and it's totally not easy. But I see it done over and over again.
I don't know how parent grad students can do it
It's undergrads around here.
t cue standard Utah mindset rant
The girl (if she's not even 21 she's still a girl, to my mind) will frequently work and maybe take some classes while she's taking care of the kids as well. Husband is also probably working. What annoys me is that the girl frequently drops out of school when the kids show up but she'll keep working to help put husband through school. I asked one girl, "So, when he graduates and gets a decent job, will he watch the kids more so you can finish your degree?" "Why would he do that?" she asked.
