I had planned one more Buffy fanfic, but never got the steam up. It was to be the last in my R-titled series. But I think I realised that my ideas were too grandiose and probably alienating as part of my "thesis", so I never got up steam.

Sometimes (like today, when I re-read Rive because someone kudosed it) I regret that I never even finished it for myself, but it's probably for everyone's benefit.

I just felt extra horrible that one of the reasons I couldn't keep writing was because of my discussions with my beta, whom I really really loved and respected. And I was so hung up on "her process isn't my process" without being able to articulate that because I was hung up on not being able to slot myself into her process successfully. I'm terribly sad that what started as a really good correspondence turned into me second-guessing myself and my right to subject my mediocre, unthought-through ideas on the general public.

I'm still at a stand-still with some point, but hope I can muddle through them, despite my ambition to have villain ambitions that make sense! (I see why this is so hard for many writers: there's a great story, but, damn, now they need to make their antagonist slot into that story, and the antagonist winds up being disserviced).

I finally watched The Losers a few months ago and it was weird because I'd read a ton (pretty much everything I could get my hands on that was good and a lot that was bad) and there was so little Cougar/Jensen interaction. I know some ofthe relationship stuff is pulled from the comic books but I thought there'd be more interaction between then. Also Cougar was way less depressed/broody than I expected (although again I think some of that characterization came from the comics). I'm debating about reading the comics.

Maybe the draw is that movie!Jensen is so mouthy and movie!Cougar is so laconic?

I have that sort of opposites thing that I crave in my ships. Jensen/Cougar satisfied it perfectly, but I admit it was nothing drawn from movie canon. Just a delightful idea I saw played out well on the page a few times.

I think there was one where they were kittens that was unutterably perfect.

And yes, what Julie said--Jensen doesn't have an unexpressed whim, and Cougar is short on words, but not on expressiveness. What he has to communicate gets said.

Oh, shit, I did like me some Jensen/Cougar. That was one of the few movie fandoms I read in.

It's a great pairing.

Maybe the draw is that movie!Jensen is so mouthy and movie!Cougar is so laconic?

Yeah, and they're the ones working/hanging together before Aisha comes into the picture, and Cougar can answer questions and give suggestions with a few well-placed "you are such an idiot and this is a bad idea" looks (I just rewatched it on Saturday), plus he's smooth without trying and Jensen's about as unsmooth as it gets and trying too hard.

I'd watched it (for JDM, as soon as it was out on video, because I failed at movie theatres) before reading anything (comics or fic), and found it appealing, and every so often, I get a craving.

I admit I especially like the ones where Clay and Aisha are in the background (but not too far in the background), breaking rooms and having noisy, argumentative sex, because that's totally a BOGO for me in terms of bulletproof pairing dynamics.

Oh, the Losers. I will & have read pretty much all of the fic on AO3. Some great werewolf fic came out of that fandom (like this one [link] There's also a really great series about Cougar/Jensen & Aisha coming in to that mix [link]

The Losers comics are definitely rewarding, if you've a mind.

I have no idea about this fandom, but I am enjoying picturing Aisha Taylor, Jensen Ackles and John Cougar As these people

That is a little bit awesome, and a little bit less hot.

Feather also writes some completely addictive to me Steve/Bucky stuff.

I'm weirdly fond of the one where Jensen sometimes turns into a cat.