Yes, there is. There's a hurry, Xander. I'm dying...I may have as few as fifty years left.

Anya ,'Same Time, Same Place'


What Happens in Natter 35 Stays in Natter 35  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


-t - May 23, 2005 7:01:34 am PDT #6212 of 10001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

Saw Episode III yesterday.

Me too. For some reason I am holding off on deciding what I thought of it. Holding off for what, I don't know.


Wolfram - May 23, 2005 7:17:52 am PDT #6213 of 10001
Visilurking

Saw Episode III yesterday.

Saw it Sat. nite. Quite enjoyable. Sure the dialogue is stilted and cheesy and the jokes seem to be aimed at 10 year olds, but the story actually works for once. And there are even a couple of HSQ scenes that will make you downright uncomfortable. First time in two decades I've left a Star Wars movie without feeling like I'd just wasted two hours of my life.


dcp - May 23, 2005 7:30:30 am PDT #6214 of 10001
The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.

the other grandmother was Choctaw

My father and step-mother came to visit a few summers ago, and we went on a tour of several Civil War sites in eastern Oklahoma. People kept asking my step-mother about her ethnicity. The Choctaw asked if she was Cherokee. The Cherokee and Muskokee asked if she was Choctaw. The Anglos asked, "Which tribe are you?" They were all surprised and confused when she described herself as "ABC." Then she had to explain that it means "American born Chinese" -- both her parents emigrated from southern China, and she was born in California.


§ ita § - May 23, 2005 7:32:53 am PDT #6215 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

My voice is gone, probably because of screaming "No!" so much of yesterday.

I took a Suit Training course (like Model muggers, where you get to beat the shit out of an aggressor in a padded suit).

It's different from krav, because it considers verbal self defense, and is less aggressively aggressive.

I'm curious about some stuff, though. Have women here experienced making eye contact as a better preventative measure than not? Does not looking the weird guy in the eye encourage him to come in closer?

For me, making eye contact is like flashing a sign. And it's not like I default to come hither, or anything. Not looking works better.

But their examples of not looking had much more vulnerable body language than I think mine is. I'm probably somewhere around "almost irritated" no matter my mood.


Scrappy - May 23, 2005 7:36:17 am PDT #6216 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

I look guys directly in the eye and nod hello and quickly look away. I feel as if I am saying "I acknowledge you are there. I am not ignoring you. We have had our interaction and now it's done." In all my years in NYC, I found it worked 9 out of 10 times.


Nutty - May 23, 2005 7:37:58 am PDT #6217 of 10001
"Mister Spock is on his fanny, sir. Reports heavy damage."

ita, I suspect there is not making eye contact and then there is not making eye contact. I do not make eye contact because other people are as insignificant gnats to me; but if my eye-contact avoidance were, in fact, fearful, then eye-contact making would be a step up.

Generally speaking, when "get outta my way" is your default demeanor, then eye-contact is not particularly at issue.


Jesse - May 23, 2005 7:39:25 am PDT #6218 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I feel like the eye-contact thing for the average woman is kind of like a bluff. You (ita) could actually beat the shit out of the guy, but I probably couldn't, which makes it more important for me to look as though I could. Not that I do it much, but that's because most creepy people on the street want to talk to you, not hurt you. And I REALLY don't want to talk to them.


§ ita § - May 23, 2005 7:40:51 am PDT #6219 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I look guys directly in the eye and nod hello and quickly look away.

I do the nod, sometimes smile, but really dislike the eye thing. They painted it like not looking was equivalent to flashing your panties.

I'm all about the "I know you're there. You cannot surprise me. But you also cannot engage me."


sarameg - May 23, 2005 7:42:48 am PDT #6220 of 10001

I look through/past people. I don't know what it looks like to the observer, though. I have some issues with making eye-contact generally (like talking to my dang friends!) so I'm probably not on the normal stretch on any such continuum.


Connie Neil - May 23, 2005 7:52:30 am PDT #6221 of 10001
brillig

I avoid eye contact with strangers because I learned, growing up back east, that it could be taken as a challenge/invitation. That many people around you, personal privacy was important. There's a difference between looking past someone while giving off "I have a purpose" vibes and walking around with your head down looking like a victim.