what makes them think they have anything to offer you? That is an amazing conceit on their part.

Maybe I've reached a desperate age? I look less moral? I'm not sure. Or, maybe, that many men that I meet now are married. They do need to keep it to themselves (the attraction, not the married bit -- there have been a couple that got confused on that score).

yet if I suddenly found myself alone and wanting to find someone new, there would be a lot of filters in place that have to do with who I am *now*.

I worry that this is the case for me now -- do I have too many things in the filter, that I didn't have when I was younger and that wouldn't really be a barrier in the unlikely event of meeting someone who otherwise should be compatible. Or, as always, what scrappy said.

Sorry I keep bringing up my problems, It's just really weighing on me right now.

I couldn't do an affair, it would just be wrong. Aside from the moral problems, I also don't understand where guys get the time to have an affair.

I don't know what my filters are. Maybe that's where my problems start- I have no focus. All I know is that being able to make me laugh so hard I pee is a plus.

So, I suppose a neat-freak is out of the question.

I also don't understand where guys get the time to have an affair.

Also they're assholes who aren't doing a big chunk of parenting and building their kids spaceships and such.

Dammit, Gud. You're doing so much good, hard work and getting so little back. I wish there was some way to make things good and right and fair. I wish Emaryn's ship was real and you could climb in and flip the toggle switches and zoom off to someplace happy and loving. I wish my wishes did a damn bit of good.

do I have too many things in the filter

Some of mine would be tough, too, because Stephen is an awesome dad. So not only would a potential new guy have to like kids in general, he'd have to be understanding, patient, willing to play, etc. Or at least willing to try.

Of course, this only applies to me if Stephen gets run over by a bus or some such (God forbid), so I'm not too worried.

I also don't understand where guys get the time to have an affair.

Stephen's office had a lunch meeting in a local park last week, and they actually witnessed an affair-in-progress. The couple -- two adults in business garb -- pulled up in separate cars, he got into hers, they proceeded to make out for a while, and then he got back in his car and they left.

Of course, it could have been a cute married couple who wanted to fool around at lunchtime, but Stephen said he got a distinctly shifty, guilty vibe from both of them.

Were there probably wonderful people I never considered because of the cat thing? Hell yes.

...this. Less people in the potential pool.

I couldn't do an affair, it would just be wrong.

It's also not going to make you feel better in the long term. It's like drinking heavily in that respect.

I think that's more of a priority if you like people.

Next time around, I am totally dating Sebaceans.