Then just consider tonight a trial run. And my brain is now yours until 7 a.m. tomororrow. Electronics are going to sleep. I am to follow.

Night Bitches...

Night Cass. I think I'm gonna try to sleep too. Don't anybody get any ideas.

Thanks Cass. I'll probably bug you a bit once I figure out what questions I have.

Night guys. Pleasant dreams.

I've been trying to go to sleep. It's not working so well.

Isn't a cough suppressant supposed to actually, y'know, suppress a cough to some extent? Every time I lie down, I start coughing again.

Health~ma!

Plei, I've been doing the same damn thing. I put Mal in his crib for "quiet activity" time on Tuesday, and for the first time he was actually quiet, not gritching or hiccoughing or anything. I have gotten so used to hearing him that I freaked out a little and ran up to check on him.

Four times.

And I can't even THINK of the S*DS word.

I don't think it's PPD-related, though, at least not for me. I've had a couple rounds of the post-partum monster, and they feel different than this feeling...this is just the same as my imagination going to horrible places when Robert's late coming home from work or when his plane is late.

(and thank you guys for the nice comments about my appearance - it's SO different from my self-image that I don't really know what to say so I'll just say thanks, as it makes me feel good)

this is just the same as my imagination going to horrible places when Robert's late coming home from work or when his plane is late.

I wish there were an off switch for it! It drives me bonkers at the best of times, and when I'm tired, it's so very much the last thing I need.

We had our 4 week check today. She's up to 8 lbs, 7 oz, which is almost 2 lbs over her birthweight, and close to 2.5 lbs more than she was the first Saturday she was home. I'd been a little worried about her occasional massive spit-up fests, but it looks like my guess that she was over-eating because she comfort nurses was spot-on. Doc said her head control was really good, too. I feel less guilty about the small amount of tummy time we give her now. (Not that I felt very guilty about it to start with, but hey--validation that I'm not keeping her from learning how to push herself up.)

Raquel!!

I didn't get a chance to say how much I love the pictures, and now I can tell you "in person." You look lovely, and Mal is just too cute.

Can we start setting him up with Princess Ticky Box yet, or is there already a match between PTB and Isaac?

Perkins! How's the new life! Good to "see" you too, babe.

I don't know if Plei will want PTB to get involved with Captain Babypants - he's a bit of a womanizer. For weeks his favorite room has been the guest bathroom, where he can stare forever at a painting a friend of ours did. It's of two naked women making out. We joke that he's thinking "Chicks! Cool!" (actually, he's probably thinking "FOUR boobs?!? Bliss!")

I feel less guilty about the small amount of tummy time we give her now. (Not that I felt very guilty about it to start with, but hey--validation that I'm not keeping her from learning how to push herself up.)

Same here. Mal hates the tummy time, and his awake windows seem to be better spent with other stuff. Like paintings of women making out. (It's a very colorful painting.)

Have I mentioned at all how completely terror-filled I am at even the thought of anything happening to my kid?

You do know that I started having anxiety dreams about Emmmett six months before he was born, and up until he was two? At least once, maybe twice, a week I'd wake up in a panic thinking he was smothering under the covers. Even before he was born. Even before I knew he was a He. This is what I came to think of as the Yoke of parenthood. It weighed on me.

Surprisingly I was fine during all the nose-breaking incident. (Though stressed afterward.) But thinking about him getting the corrective surgery? Pure torture. Even as minor as it as.

A daughter of Plei and Paul's, and a boy who appreciates the femslash and the boobs? I think that could work.

Life is pretty good. The new job is going okay. Well, really, except for some tech issues. I like the people, and where I am working.