Oy, Heather. Please tell me you're looking for another job, like, NOW.

especially with a few months notice

But that's the thing. How do you ever get a few months' notice? If you're offered a job, you generally need to start in about 2 weeks.

Really, this would all be OK if I could just get two more clients like the dance company that's my steady source of income now. I'm making enough money to meet my basic needs (though I skimp a lot on that--when you work at home, old clothes are fine, and I get fewer haircuts than I used to, etc.). If I could just get two more people who gave me 10-20 hours/month on a reasonably regular basis, I'd have what we need--enough money to chop at rather than whittle away at the debt. Anything on top of that--the wedding coordination, resume/cover letter jobs, writing sales--would be gravy.

And the thing is, I haven't really exhausted all my options. Last month I made this lovely list of all the contacts I could think of--former bosses and colleagues, people at church who work in nonprofits or academia, college and family connections, etc. But I keep chickening out on contacting them. I'm like, "I can't just email them. I need a professional brochure and portfolio, which I can't afford." Or, "How can I send stuff to Jeff or Dave? It's been years since we did that thing at church--they probably barely remember who I am." Or, "Why would Cousin Della hire me when she could hire someone not on the other side of the country?"

I think it's mostly just fear--what if I contact all these people and STILL don't have the work I need? I'll have exhausted all my resources. I think some part of my mind likes having something I still haven't tried in reserve.

Print it out anyway, Heather.

Oh, Heather, what a scungy little fuckwad of a man.

Heather, your boss is a bigger asshole than my ex-boss. And that's saying something. I hate that you have to stew. What a bastard.

Print it out anyway, Heather.

I agree.

Definitely print it out. When you do leave, make sure you show it to a higher up and say that's why you're leaving. You don't appreciate having your job shopped out to his fucking friends. Cocksucker.

t puts Boss on a stick and batter fries him

See, he's not always. Sometimes he's pretty cool. He just gets it in his head that he knows how things are. Yesterday he "knew" I wasn't doing a project fast enough and there was a way to do it faster, while at the same time he "knew" I was doing it too fast and not checking for mistakes. I am fine with both of these things, project needs to be done faster, but project needs better quality control. These are not mutually exclusive. What is confusing however is when he says, "You should be able to do these 'boom, boom, boom'." in one breath and then turns around and says "You're doing these 'boom, boom, boom' and mistakes are getting through.

I won't even go into him adding stuff to my copy so that when I reuse it for something whatever he put in there, that's not relevant to the copy's current use is still there.

I don't have a higher up.

He's it? He's the cheese? Well, still print it out. Print out lots of copies. Bring it to the F2F. We'll get drunk and spew on it.

Yep. He's it.

I...just...ugh...