{{Sean}} BTDT so many times. My ability to talk various institutions into lending me money over the years has kept me in transportation and food, although the price has been staggering. I could easily retire on what I have spent in interest and fees. Ugh. I wish I had actual advice, but all I can offer is something~please~go~right~ma.

eta: as far as car repairs go, I've heard more horrible numbers. Transmissions are never a reasonable number.

{{{Seanie}}}

{{{Sean}}}

((((Sean))))

Oh Sean, I'm so sorry.

Sean, insent.

Sean, I'm so sorry to hear about the car stuff. Car stuff on top of money stuff is just that much more frustrating.

Back to my morning frustrating phone call, after thinking about it all morning, I sat down and wrote Joe a long e-mail about what I expect the birth to be like and why I don't want anyone else there. I suspect that I am guilty of not sharing all this stuff earlier - he has so much going on and he isn't here when I get the information so sometimes I forget to include him and/or don't want to bother him with it. If nothing else, it felt good to actually express what scares me and when I expect to need him the most. Hopefully, this will help.

Sean, I am so incredibly sorry. I feel kind of sick on your behalf, I have been there so many times. I remember actually weeping on the phone with a mechanic, when he gave me the estimate for my transmission repair. I think that is what led him to generously let me pay it off in installments. (I think I paid him over 3 months, in fact) I was working in the church then, and had *just* ended things with my ex, and was on self-prescribed and unofficially obtained Trozodone just to get through the day, and I remember going into the sanctuary and howling sobbing.

Things did eventually get better for me, (and they had previously been worse than that, for sure) and I know they will for you.

I'm vibing that something good happens that helps with the shit situation you're dealing with.

{{Stephanie}} Vibing for an understanding hubby. It's easy when there's a geographical separation to live only in your own head. Is Joe going to be home soon enough before the birth that you'll get a chance to actually talk about this, then? I've a feeling that when you two can actually get together F2F, a lot of what you're saying will make more sense to him.

ION, I finally decided to set a timer. I'm giving myself 30 minutes of clean time to 20 minutes of play time. So far, I've tidied up both the hallway table and the entertainment center. Found out I have a lot more space on it then I realized once everything was put in appropriate containers. I'll actually have room to store some of the stuff that's been sitting in piles next to the desk. Joy.

{{Sean}} I am putting you in for a good old fashion miracle.

DH drove me to the coffe shop. I took at little walk - now it is time for a rest.