Ignoring the spider talk. La la la!
Increasingly, my phone number seems to be the only one people know. They're calling me for everything, from "Hi, I'm Person from Agency Blah. We're shooting a commercial on a TIGHT schedule and we were wondering if we could get..." to "Hi, I'm Somebody from Agency Whatever, and our invoices are being sent to the wrong place..." to "Hi, I'm Guy from Agency Cutesyname, and I was wondering if I could get the font..." and so on.
Now, shockingly, I'm not actually in charge of Everything. In fact, I'm not even in charge of A Lot. But since the phone calls have been actively interfering with me doing my actual work, I'm thinking of changing the message on my voice mail:
"Hello, you've reached the Everything Desk. We're in charge of everything! We can answer your every question! And since we know everything, we already know exactly what it is you need. You may hang up now secure in the knowledge that we will take care of everything. Have a great day, and thanks for calling the Everything Desk!"