Man, I fucking love deviled eggs.

Gagging.

Also, Whoot! Best-selling Hec.

See, I'm sympathetic, because "no gifts" would make me uncomfortable. I wouldn't be mortally offended by seeing it [ok maybe aesthetically offended], but there is no way I would not give some sort of wedding present no matter what the marrying people tell me.

Yeah, I'm not real easy with it. The thing is, people want to do something to commemorate. It's not necessarily a kindness to let them off the hook. But then, I've never really subscribed to the idea that the wedding is for you. The whole point of a wedding is to make it about more than just you, to make your friends and family a part of things. And the wedding gift is a very meaningful thing for a lot of people.

OTOH, having a bunch of stuff you don't need and/or returning things willy-nilly aren't great options either. I like the idea of registering with a charity or three, and I think it would be a lot easier to propagate by word of mouth than the "no gifts" message would.

Coffee! I have that! In fact, I have a bowl full of used grounds from my espresso machine this weekend so I won't even have to waste the good stuff. I'll bet I can use it as a scrub. Thanks y'all!

Gagging.

::waves deviled egg under brenda's nose. Turns to offer some to ita.::

I am all about the explicit instructions, where wedding gifts are concerned. (Also, choices on a registry, because when 4 people are driving 8 hours in a single car to attend, they really really want to give you tiny tiny flatware instead of ginormo plates! Which is what we did.) I think there must be a way to explicitize the instructions that offends the least number of people, but I don't know what it is.

At brunch, out, today:

Waiter: and our drink special is a peach nectar mimosa.
Me: Isn't that a bellini?
Waiter: Yes, but nobody knows to call it that, so we have to explain.

Do people really not know what a bellini is?? That is like saying, This is a duplex, except for the part where you don't share any walls or ceilings with anybody.

You'd be surprised how much People Don't Know.

You'd be surprised how much People Don't Know.

I'm not surprised by ignorance as it seems the default setting.

HAPPY EASTER!

my day by me:

9:15 church with brother, wear hat (of course) also wear winter coat as it is stil cold (boo)
go home, make jicama mango slaw for Easter meal with friends
gather things to take to meal (slaw, hats, decorative eggs)
eat and visit with friends, recieve gifts of fabric and a teapot and hello kitty items
go home put things away, wash dishes, clean kitchen
finish book (3rd book in 3 days, I love vacation)
debate going to bed at 8:30, decide to go online instead.

I figure gifts are like a dress code. Unless someone has one that I can't meet due to insufficient resources, it's their party, not mine. Sure, they want me to enjoy myself, but it's their party. So if they want a party with no presents, that's what they'll get. If they want a casual party, and it seems clear that "dressing up" is about me satisfying me and ignoring them, I won't do it.

Of course, I've never had a "no presents, please" party. But I don't celebrate my birthday primarily because I don't want any gifts. I'd still like to have people around, and stuff. Just no gifts.

I'd only recently heard of a bellini, and do quite quickly forget what juice is in there with the champagne.

I've never been to a "no gifts" wedding, but I have been to "no present" birthday party. I think I generally have taken a small gift anyway. not to be inconsiderate, but because I felt weird hanging out at a party where I hadn't contributed - giving a gift made me feel like I'd thanked the host.

I've seen some people include cards with their invitations that say "X is registered here". While perhaps questionable, I think a small card saying "Your presence is gift enough" or something along that line might be appropriate. I'm also a big fan of the rules of the situation being clear. Otherwise people feel confused and awkward.

The beloved suggests "the gift of booze is all that we require."