I was talking to a friend's little five-year-old girl last week, and she was talking all about Santa had called her (It was a friend of mom's who identified himself as Santa).

I decided to run with it. I was talking to M (the little girl) and I asked her how she knew for sure it was Santa, and not just somebody pulling her leg. She said she knew because he said he was Santa.

I then proceeded to tell her that I was Santa's brother, and that I could put in a good word for her with the big guy. She was dubious at first, but by the end of the evening, I think I had her convinced, as she was telling everyone who would listen that Santa was going to bring her THREE ponies (just what I'd told her I could get Santa to give her).

I was quite amused.

He had my cousin convinced that tuna fish was possum in a can. Which is funny because my grandfather had the same cousin convinced that tamales were made from turtles.

My dad told my mom pimentos were lizard tongues.

Mom's very gullible. She believed it for years.

Never done Karaoke for the simple fact I can't sing. The only time I sing is when I'm alone or as part of a large group of people where my being off-key won't be particularly noticable.

The song that's always done in Karaoke in my experience is "Friends in Low Places", which I don't particularly like, but is guaranteed to be sung at least twice everytime.

Santa was going to bring her THREE ponies

Oh that is just mean.

Hee hee.

A number of kids that I grew up with thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows.

I'm just looking forward to the day--and I know I've got a ways to go yet--when she can play well enough to build things and make up stories with her toys. Because then, if my own memory of childhood is accurate, she'll actually prefer those toys to our stuff. And while she'll still like books, she'll want to read them rather than eating or shredding them.

I just can't get over how tall she is. How is it that less than a year ago she was this tiny little 7 lbs. and change creature about the size of your forearm, and now she's walking around the living room and trying to strip the dining table and entertainment center of their contents? (Fortunately, the latter locks, but no more casually tossing the DVD set we're watching onto the top, or leaving a pen or a stack of junk mail by the TV.)

I don't lie to kids. Telling them the truth is more fun. You can slay the tooth fairy, Santa, and the Easter bunny in mere minutes.

Next, cancer and taxes.

That reminds me of the TAL story in the "Kid Logic" show where the little girl (now grown up) was convinced her friend's dad was the tooth fairy.

I always hear, and enjoy because it becomes a huge group sing, You Never Called Me BY My Name.

A number of kids that I grew up with thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows.

I got that one, too. My dad also told me that I could make people or things I didn't like disappear by pointing at them, closing one eye, and then snapping my fingers. Years later I still find myself trying it in the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time it'll work.

You can slay the tooth fairy, Santa, and the Easter bunny in mere minutes.

"Santa Clause does not exist/And there's no Easter Bunny./You'll find out when you grow up/that Big Bird isn't funny."

t /Denis Leary