I'm trying to think of portrayals in fiction where the mother espouses more dedication to her spouse than her kids

It happened in the movie (and I think book) The Sundowners. Where the kids resent having a nomadic life and appeal to their mom, and bluntly says, "I love you but if I have to choose, I'll choose to follow your father." And it was shocking then too. Of course, the father in that movie is Robert Mitchum so you can see the appeal.

People ripped Anne Lamott to shreds, too, for admitting that sometimes you really resent your kids.

Nonetheless. I wouldn't attack Ms. Waldman, but I also think that when your kid reads your blog and worries about you, it's high time to use friendslock. You do NOT allow your children to feel responsible for your emotional welfare.

he knows far too much about Klingon politics and the lyrics to Yes songs

I think I love him, too.

Inneresting -- is she painted as selfish or villainous or anything negative for her choice? I mean, by the author, more than the other characters.

No, it was painted as a true love thing. She couldn't live without him. Ain't twue wuv gwand? I remember the oldest daughter being angry about it until she meets her true love.

You can tell it's been a while for me, hasn't it?

Hee.

The current book "The Glass Castle" is by a woman telling how her childhood was spent being drug along in her eccentric parents' wake. They were often too poor to eat or to have a decent home, but the lovely thing to me is that she doesn't resent them but thinks they were pretty nifty folk despite it all and honors them for their ability to live life exactly the way they wanted to. She and her siblings are successful and fairly cool themselves, by all accounts.

My best April Fool's Day prank was in college (I know I've told this story before). I worked part-time in the Registrar's office, and so I sent a letter to one of my friends saying that the university was going to stop offering her major, and that she needed to contact her advisor to discuss her options, and that We (at the Registrar's office) hoped this wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience or require her to spend any extra semesters beyond 4 years.

On a second sheet of paper, behind the letter of academic doom, I put a note saying something like, "Now that you've recovered from your heart attack -- April Fool!"

She was kind enough to forgive me since I immediately revealed it as a prank.

I'm not shocked. She's taking a lot of abuse for anything and everything she says over at Salon, too, and it doesn't seem proportionate to what she's actually musing about.

The Salon kerfuffle has been interesting to watch, but "not publically humiliating your children" strikes me as good policy regardless of your profession, gender, or fame. My family is full of clergy-- it's an ongoing struggle as to what remains strictly private and what makes it into sermons and essays. It's not something that seems to be of concern to her with the blog (though this essay? eh, not really)

somebody gets raped in the middle...they always do, of Danielle Steele novels, I mean.

You do NOT allow your children to feel responsible for your emotional welfare.

I'm canonically huge on the parent/child emotional separation (see my distaste for early Gilmore Girls and residual Veronica Mars issues), and I can't agree more.

Which brings me to another fictional thought. I do know IRL a mother who considers her teenaged son to be really friendly-I-know-his-secrets close, and it turns out he's got some of the nastiest legal secrets, and she has no idea. Does the precocious kid who's buds with mom and/or dad turn out to be male, often? I'm thinking of Jack and Bobby a little, but he's not her friend, even though he parents with her and interacts with her as a peer.

eta:

I remember the oldest daughter being angry about it until she meets her true love.

Okay, OW.

What's a false tabloid?. Cause I don't understand at all.