Although calling it that is right out.

Yes. Although inventing new euphemisms for flatulence could be as much fun as inventing euphemisms for genitalia in a regular romance novel.

They can both be Too Stupid To Live, thus causing the mistaken identity.

I'm afraid the traditional Hollywood solution, having the heroine be trampy, trashy, and fun until she converts in the last paragraph, is also unacceptable.

Although inventing new euphemisms for flatulence could be as much fun as inventing euphemisms for genitalia in a regular romance novel.

Oh, God. And then there are burps.

"Excuse me, sweetheart, but I believe your source has spoken."

Well, so much for the wedding at Cana.

Editor: "We had to cut this Jesus character out of your novel...."

I'm baffled by the no Halloween bit.

Could you have Goth Christian Chick Lit?

What do CBA and ABA stand for? It seems to me that in all of what Betsy is quoting, "Christian" is not a truthfully representative term. They seem to be talking about a very specific sub-category of Christian -- Baptist. Right? Cause, the "no drinking, no dancing" thing is kind of a tell that it's not Good Shepherd Episcopal Church we're talking about.

So, by requiring that all mention of denomination be whitewashed out of the stories, as quoted above, aren't the author guidelines condoning a lie of omission? Also, why fudge it? Like, if a non-Christian like me can decode it all, why bother with a code in the first place? Is it a turf thing, where conservative Lutherans won't give the time of day to something openly labelled Baptist, or what?

gambling or games of chance (including raffles),

Who can write a novel without raffles?!?

Could you have Goth Christian Chick Lit?

While I do know Christian (and Mormon, and Catholic, and Jewish) goth girls (I hesitate to call them "chicks"), I dunno if you could write Chick Lit about them and have it conform to those rules.

CBA and ABA stand for

Christian Booksellers Association and American Booksellers Association. What they're saying is that unless your book adheres to these guidelines, it can't be sold in a CBA bookstore.

Basically, they're saying "We're targeting an evangelical Christian market, and therefore your book must not contain anything that would offend any Evangelical Christian." Some of whom believe that only their church's members are truly saved, and who would immediately stop reading when Millie turns out to be a Methodist.

Jilli, many Evangelicals believe that Halloween is the Devil's holiday. It was a big deal in Charlotte -- half the kids on our street stopped trick-or-treating between one year and the next because of it.