I saw Brokeback Mountain today, and now I hurt.

I'm reading through some of the discussion in cesperanza's LJ that ita linked to a few days back, and it's helping me to think more critically about the movie, which I think is important; but I'm also still in the phase of just wanting to lie down and cry every time I think about it. The scenes that I found most affecting were the scene where Ennis finds the shirts in Jack's closet, of course--I'd been primed for that one by the trailer--and also the scene in which Alma Jr. visits Ennis at his new trailer and tells him about her marriage to Kurt. There's a moment where Ennis asks her if Kurt loves her, and she says yes, and I almost thought for a moment that he was going to tell her about Jack. It wouldn't have worked narratively, and it wouldn't have been in character, but I so desperately wanted him to be able to talk to her about Jack and to tell her that someone had loved him too, that in that moment I would have accepted it without question.

The scenery on Brokeback Mountain was astonishing. I heard a few audience members catch their breath at one or another spectacular mountain vista. Someone on cesperanza's journal made the point (which I had felt, but not articulated myself) that the wide, sweeping open spaces of Brokeback Mountain contrasted neatly with the small and restricted spaces that Jack and Ennis occupied when they went back to their lives and their jobs and their wives.

I thought both Heath Ledger's and Jake Gyllenhaal's performances were excellent. And I was glad to see Linda Cardellini (Lindsay from Freaks and Geeks ) in there too. She's so pretty!

I did have some minor problems with the movie, mostly having to do with the aging of the characters, which never rang true to me, especially with Anne Hathaway. I found it distracting never to be sure what age anyone was supposed to be or how much time had passed. There were also several lines I couldn't hear very well because of the accents or because of Heath Ledger's delivery; now I want to know if Ennis mumbles that badly in the story.

I really want to see it again in a few days' or weeks' time, alone, and with some quiet time to reflect afterwards, which I did not have today.

Oh, that's Linda Cardellini. Not having watched Freaks and Geeks, she may always be Luka's wrong GF to me. I was transfixed by Kate Mara. If you're going with the stereotype of All American Pretty, she is so it.

It's certainly a movie I feel bears watching twice -- I'm just not sure if I can. I do know I want that soundtrack though.

Kate Mara

Oh, I meant to look her up too. She's luminous.

Part of the reason I want to watch it again is because, not having read the story, I spent some of the most important and/or emotional moments being afraid of what would happen next. I didn't know that Jack would die at the end, but I was on edge for most of the movie expecting at least one of them to die or get beat up, and then at the end I was afraid Ennis would kill himself. I don't expect violent things of most current gay-themed movies, but the time period and setting of this one made me wary. I'd like to see it again now that I know what's going to happen, so I can focus more on the interactions between the characters and less on fearing for their safety.

I very much understand those who say they can't bring themselves to watch it again, but I feel like I need to get deeper into the story before I can let it go.

I do know I want that soundtrack though.

Most of the score didn't impress me overly, but that simple theme (from the trailer) is lovely and haunting. t checking iTunes Oh, and two songs by Rufus Wainwright! Funny, I was listening to him on the way to and from the theatre and just thinking about how different his world is from the world of the movie. I don't recall hearing either song in the movie, but now I'm curious. And I liked the country&western bar music, too. Okay, maybe I need the soundtrack after all.

I did have some minor problems with the movie, mostly having to do with the aging of the characters, which never rang true to me, especially with Anne Hathaway.

I thought Anne's hair was believably awful for the time period, but nobody except Heath Ledger aged believably -- their hair changed, but the skin stayed perfect. Heath was able to portray aging with his posture so well it didn't matter.

Yeah, Heath Ledger aged better than anyone else. Anne Hathaway's hair just looked like a wig to me, though I do concur that it seemed entirely apropos for a Texan housewife in the 70s/80s. (One detail I really liked: in her phone conversation with Ennis towards the end of the movie, the camera is so close to her hands, holding the phone to her ear, that you can see that her nails are fake and imperfectly manicured, with the bright red paint starting to peel off around the edges .)

Oh, I noticed their skin aging.

Even in a Terry Gilliam universe, it makes no sense.

It's not even PRETTY. That's what I was outraged by. I mean, I didn't expect sense, and I knew it had had problems in addition, but most Gilliam stuff, you look at it and there's a Gilliamesqueisnessitudeness... ism... Uh. I thought I'd like looking at it, is what I'm saying. But no. Every once in a while I could distract myself by thinking about what a scene was originally supposed to be like, but mostly I'd never have guessed he'd been anywhere near it.

Though that's why I was thinking of renting it. He does a commentary, doesn't he? I like when he rants.

Uh. I thought I'd like looking at it, is what I'm saying. But no.

Yeah, it was ugly in such a conventional way. There were, like, three wide-angle crane shots.

There is a commentary, but I doubt we'll get around to it because that would mean watching the movie again.

Heath's skin definitely aged. It's possible I couldn't take my eyes off him.

I didn't think about the soundtrack until I was catching up on podcasts and heard a review with it playing in the background. Then I needed it.

I did have some minor problems with the movie, mostly having to do with the aging of the characters, which never rang true to me, especially with Anne Hathaway. I found it distracting never to be sure what age anyone was supposed to be or how much time had passed.

Yeah, I had problems with that too.

I was transfixed by Kate Mara. If you're going with the stereotype of All American Pretty, she is so it.

Yeah, I was glad to see her. I knew her from Jack and Bobby.