Allan: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollack, isn't it?

Museum Girl: Yes, it is.

Allan: What does it say to you?

Museum Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum Girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

Welcome to downtown Coolsville! Population: us.

Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps *real* hard.

It was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs.

(JZ - the face that Dean makes while under water after The Gian jumps in the lake - priceless)

SOOPERMAAAN!

Lighten up, Francis.

"Jean Louise, Jean Louise, stand up. Your father's passing."

Is that true?

It's true, your Honor. This man has no dick.

Stone, ladies are unwell. Gentlemen vomit.

I'll be takin' these Huggies, and, uh, whatever cash you got.